Aries || Calum Hood

twenty-six

ARIES: Red like the fire within them, red like the blood that carries adrenaline through their veins, red like the apples that they aren't afraid to climb to reach, red like the lipstick stains they's leave all over you.

C A L U M

AFFLICTION ACCOSTED CALUM back into vexation while he sat on the doorsteps of his house, a cigarette dangling from his mouth.  Though the toxin left a bitter taste in his mouth, he dreaded the fact that poisoning his body was the only thing that made his mind feel healthy and less corrupt.  The nebulous backstory concerning why he didn't tell Athena about Mali's wedding had come to haunt him, Calum wasn't ready to tell Athena about it just yet.

His aversion towards happiness has ruminated inside his blurred mind, his eyebrows furrowed while he glared at the sunset, his mindset shifted back to how it was like five months ago.

Lonely and angry.

He had no right to feel such a sorrowful combination of emotions considering the fact that he was dating the only girl who made him feel that "Disgusting, My stomach keeps turning, Where has she been in my entire life?" feeling.  His heart increased in beats once he thought of her, the only girl capable of prying into his mind -in a way that made Calum feel relieved to speak up without burdening anyone with his issues.

But this.

This was an issue that Calum wished to keep to himself.

He didn't want to be told the same words again.  He didn't want to be told to grow up or that everything would sort out in the end.

Calum didn't believe in fate.

He knew someone or something had to always take the initiation to gear towards their desires, and Calum also knew that whining about his sister getting married would only cause him to look like a fool.

He didn't want to look like a fool in front of Athena.

Now, he didn't love her.

He felt a strong sense of emotions towards her, but Calum didn't think he was capable of loving someone in the definition that was highly emphasized towards others.  He was too corrupt, too closed-in to be able to love someone like her.  

He knew she didn't love him back either.

It may seem like all has been perfect -they really have been- but the clashing of topic with the wedding has caused Calum to snap out of it.

He was never going to be happy.

Outsiders may view Calum's train of thought pertaining the wedding to be a complete exaggeration, an overreaction consequence of overthinking.

But it really wasn't.  Calum realized that at the end of the day, he was going to drift apart from his sister, his only family.  At the end of the day, Calum would end up leaving his house, having to fend off on his own.  

At the end of the day, Calum would be alone.

Yes, he had Athena.  He would never leave Athena.  But, Athena -she was just perfect.  She has a future set for her.  She has dreams she is working towards.  She wouldn't be staying in Seattle for long.  He knew she was going to leave next year for Stanford, he believed in her and knew they would accept her right away.

Calum would never intend on holding Athena back for his own selfish desires.

He would always be there for her, and he knew she wouldn't just abandon him.  But she couldn't always physically be there for him.