Are You Happy Now?

Chapter 30: The Price of Survival

I know its been a while since I updated again.... Soo sorry!

Thanks to everyone who is still sticking with me through this story:)

PLEASE let me know what you think of this because as of right now, you all could hate it and not want me to continue. I want feedback or I may just abandon this book....

Any who, here's the chapter:

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(Cassidy's P.O.V.) 

My dad has never been the most considerable mate, well not even that - he shouldn't even count as a mate. All he does is cheat and he it's slowly killing my mom. She deserves way better than that. She is one of the strongest people I know, she and Logan. They both endured immense pain. Logan lost his mate but somehow learned how to survive. My mom learned how to survive the incessant cheating of her mate, the one who was supposed to be devoted to her, was supposed to cherish her every moment of their lives. How come my mom and Logan couldn't have been mates? They seem like much more of a match, granted I never got to meet Logan's true mate, so I guess I can't really tell... But if they were then I would've had a wonderful father, probably not a bitchy sister, I wouldn't have found Damen only for him to reject me - maybe he would've accepted me? I think that's wishful thinking. If Logan had been my father I would've been of Alpha blood though... Would I have still been a shifter? Would I have hid it like I have most of my life? Or would I have been able to be who I was meant to be all along? Question after question was whirling around my head. 

Thinking about "what if's" only torture your subconscious. Thinking what your life could've been like is like thinking what it would be like to grow up as a squirrel. It's a foreign idea that we can't wrap our head around. It's always sunnier on the other side - or something along those lines. Life could've always been better than it turned out but I think I have finally come to realize that things happen for a reason in this world. I needed to be rejected to finally leave and get the chance to discover myself. I had to meet Logan to understand what a true father is supposed to be. I was meant to bond with Phillip, Riley and their pack because they, along with Logan, are what brought me out of my shell. Around them I could be the "me" I had been keeping bottled up for so long - the one only my mom knew. I also had to suffer through the pain of the loss of Logan so I could meet Evangeline and accept her as my adoptive daughter.  

Thinking things happen for a reason also poses the question: why would my mom, completely innocent in the matter, be forced to be with her scum of a mate? What could possibly be accomplished through that? Maybe she was meant to endure it so she could bring her three pups into the world, bring with them their intertwined destinies and journeys. Maybe she was also meant to endure it for a period of time until she got the chance to decide if she wanted the bond broken. Breaking the bond between mates is only done in extreme cases, though I feel like my mom's is a justified cause. Anyone can clearly see that she isn't going to last long with the double whammy of losing her first born pup and her cheating mate. She needs to have a fighting chance at surviving, and if that means breaking her bond to my father, I feel like she deserves it. I only hope she chooses to accept it.  

Walking always from Damen's office I walk back towards my mom's room. Slowly peering into her room I notice she isn't there. "Mom, where are you?" I say aloud, searching around the room. I get no answer, so I quickly pick up her scent and follow it down the hall. Before I knew it I was standing in front of Jake's room. My mom was just standing there, seeming to be in a trance. Seeing as she doesn't notice my presence I slowly walk towards her saying, "Mom, are you okay?" I placed a hand on her shoulder when she didn't respond again, which resulted in her jumping slightly.  

"It's getting worse. All I feel is pain; it's becoming stronger by the day." I heard her say quietly. 

"I know mom, I think I know how to help." I told her. Getting no response I cautiously added, "Would you be willing to break your bond with dad?" 

She slowly turned around to face me. "I didn't think they did that anymore. Being it's so painful."  

"I'm not going to say that it's painless, but you have to choose between feeling that or withstanding everything you feel now. If you choose the latter I can't guarantee that you're going to survive long, please don't make me lose you too." I pleaded with tearing beginning to brim in my eyes once again.  

It seems like lately all I do is cry. Crying when Logan died. Crying for the pain Riley has to face. Crying when I see my mate with another female. Crying when Jake died. I don't think I can stomach another loss, or more tears. 

My mom engulfed me in a hug. Wrapping my arms around her I cried for all the pain other have to go through. While I cried I couldn't help but remember the last time I cried in my mom's arms - the day I can home crying of Damen's rejection and Jake's betrayal, the very same day I left. Boy has my life changed significantly in the last year and plus, but here I am, back in the familiar arms of my mom. My mom was quiet for a while, I hoped she was mulling over the idea in her head. I willed her to accept it. I needed her to. 

She pulled away from me, grabbing my face in her hands, and stroking my tears from my cheeks with her thumbs. "Okay, I'm willing to try." She gave me a small smile. 

"You're sure? There is no going back from it. Your soul begins to separate completely from his; eventually you won't even be able to recognize each other as mates. No remarking will fix it even if for some ungodly reason he decides to try and man up to fix it, there is nothing anyone can do to repair the bond. Once done its permanent. Do you still want to do this mom?" I said drying my cheeks on the sleeve of my shirt. "Can you still go through with it?" She needed to know exactly what she was getting into. Once done there is no turning back. No going back. 

"I'm sure. This is what I want." She reassured. 

I pulled my mom in for another hug. "I'll go get everything ready then." I murmured into her shoulder.  

(Mrs. Samantha Knightlock's P.O.V.) 

Far too long I have dealt with the indiscretions of my husband and mate. At first I ignored it, for it was rare, but that didn't mean it was any less painful. As it got more and more frequent I felt my heart shattering, had I been a shifter I bet my wolf would've been deep in depression by now. 

Getting the chance to make a clean break from the man who took my heart and stomped on it means the world. As soon as Cassidy brought it up I knew I was going to accept. When I questioned whether or not it was what I truly wanted, I knew that there was nothing I wanted more, except maybe someone who would actually love and cherish me like my mate was supposed to. There was nothing my mate could do once I gave them the okay to do it. I wasn't going to even tell him it was going to happen. Why should I? He didn't deserve to know, he obviously made his choice, he doesn't want me, that's clear as day. It's not like he would ever change his act or even begin to try and make it up to me, so why would he care that he's finally rid of me? He wouldn't that's plain and simple - he wouldn't care. He'd probably just go and bang the first female thing he saw with legs. 

If giving up my bond to my good-for-nothing mate is the price of my survival I'm going to take it. The pain of losing Jake and the pain I have to deal with most of every day, is killing me. I barely eat because I can't stomach it, hell it was a miracle I got out of bed and made it up the stairs to Jakes room, for lately I have next to no energy or incentive to do anything. The price may seem high, but I could care less. If there is a chance I'll survive this and have one less pain I have to tolerate, I'm going to take it in a heart-beat.  

It's time to move on. It's now or never.  

Here goes nothing.

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Again, PLEASE comment and tell me what you think. I'm actually thinking of stopping because I have like no feedback, (thanks to the few of you who did say something though, this chapter was for you), I really want to hear what you guys think of it.

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-Pluto