Sensation (h.s)

Chapter Thirty Seven

✺ K A T E ' S ✺ P O V ✺

I haven't been known for being much of an adrenaline junkie in the past. Typically when I was in my teenage years, my friends would always be the ones doing the stupid and reckless things that I would be standing off to the side observing. Ranging from jumping off tall cliffs into water to going out drinking with random groups of people I had never met. A lot of unsure situations allowed me to stay in my safe zone, but then a lot of those things changed when I met James. He was always notorious for being able to talk me into nearly anything.

I never thought that later on I'd be talking myself into gaining the courage to go face him.

It seems like eternity that I sit in my car in his driveway, staring at this front door longingly as if it will morph along with the house and I'll have no option but to leave since I couldn't get in. My odd thoughts don't come true though and eventually I force myself out of the car.

Once I'm finally up at the front door, my fear doesn't decrease even the slightest. I pace back and forth on the cement block leading up to the door for minutes on end, trying to decide on the best way to approach the situation. I know James is upset over how things ended between us, but I never even had the opportunity to explain myself before everything was decided for us. For all I know he could still be set on the idea that I was the one who hurt him.

Before I'm even able to decide what my next move is, the decision is made for me. The front door unexpectedly swings open and a gasp leaves my mouth when I look up just as I'm colliding with a hard chest. The familiar scent of a particular cologne hits my nose and I almost fall weak at the knees.

"What the-" the voice that I've been longing to hear for months speaks up. I'm finally able to compose myself to look up at him, and as soon as I do, I notice his look of awe set back on me.

"K-Kate?" James chokes out, seemingly unsure of whether he's even standing before me. He looks pale almost due to his clear confusion.

"Hi." I squeak back. I'm sure I look equally as dumbfounded as him. Even though I'm the one that stuck us in this situation, everything had seemingly remained as a dream until now.

"What are you- what the fuck?" I feel his hand swing up from his side and grasp mine so that he can pull me back inside of his house. I watch him take a peek outside and look in both directions before shutting the door. He turns back to me standing in his walkway and swallows hard as he looks at me.

"Are you out of your mind? You could get in so much trouble for being here. I have a restraining order against you." He crosses his arms sternly over his chest and settles his icy blue eyes on my face. He looks good. He looks even better than I remember. I wish he didn't look good because it feels wrong to admire his appearance after everything, but I can't help but attempt to subtly skim my eyes over his body. Just when I do, I notice he's doing the same to me.

"I know I'm not supposed to be here. You can call the cops if you want to because I'm probably already going to be in trouble with my parole officer today. I need to talk to you though so please consider holding off for a few minutes on getting me arrested... Again." I fiddle with my hands in front of me and glance down at the hardwood flooring beneath our feet, then slowly back up at James. He's still staring at me but his glare has gotten seemingly softer.

"I'm not... I won't call the cops on you." He slowly shakes his head and my shoulders relax.

"Thank you, James." I lower my voice a bit and he nods again. After a long moment of silence, I notice him take a step in towards me.