Sensation (h.s)

Chapter Fifty

(You guys are finally getting hear Harry's thoughts 28394 years later I swear)

✺ H A R R Y ' S ✺ P O V ✺

"Where are we going to go if I can't go home?" Kate asks in a soft voice, staring down at where my hands are laying against her thighs. Her bare legs are kicked up on the dash and she's holding her jeans over her underwear while I clean the dried blood off her legs with an antiseptic wipe.

"I don't know yet. We need to get away from here as soon as we can though." I answer back, keeping my voice soft for her sake. I can see her shaking with anxiety every time I touch her and it breaks my heart to see her so nervous around me. I don't know how to possibly assure her that I'm going to do no harm to her, especially after I tell her everything that I've kept secret from her for months.

"I don't have any clothes with me. I don't actually have anything but my school work." She finally turns her head up to look at me, her bottom lip pouted out just a bit as her eyes meet mine. She looks so scared and unsure. I can't blame her at all.

"I have some of your clothes. They're just the things you've left at my apartment, but they should do. Do you want me to grab you a different pair of pants so that we can toss these ones?" I motion towards her ripped and bloody jeans she's holding in her lap. Her brows furrow in confusion as she looks down, then back up at me.

"Why do you have my clothes?" She asks back, her voice suddenly much more quiet. She's looking at me the same way she was earlier when she was asking me questions about James.

"Even though this entire day has been full of surprises for you, I've been expecting this for months. I just didn't know it'd happen today. Do you want pants or not?" I step away from her and she slowly nods back at me, clearly at a loss for words still. I walk towards the back of the car to dig her clothes out of the trunk, but not before stopping in my tracks to take a moment to myself when she can't see me. With my head in my hands I find myself counting down deep breaths while attempting to calm myself the slightest bit.

The looks of pure confusion and distrust she's been giving me for the past twenty minutes have weighed heavier on my heart than I could have ever imagined. I know I'm supposed to be giving her the assurance that I can protect her from whatever is to come, but how can I be strong enough to not look scared for her when all I want to do is curl into a ball at the thought of this being the reason I lose her? Things between us will never be the same after this and I'm already not sure how exactly I'm supposed to come to terms with that.

Even as she sits three feet from me in the car, clearly worried and unsure, I feel as though my heart is shattering to pieces that I can't just whisk her away in my arms and make everything better. I was never supposed to gain these kinds of feelings for her but how the hell was I not supposed to? She was the girl I never realized I needed in my life and the girl I wished I always had when I was wasting my time with other women. I made her mine and messed it up, then even when she was still willing to pretend with me that she was mine, I'm here screwing it up even further this time.

"Harry, I'm freezing. Hurry up." She calls from inside of the car, drawing me from my own thoughts. I glance back at her then up at the car and realize I can't stand around and waste time on my own emotions.

Within a minute I'm back at her side again, holding a pair of fuzzy sweatpants she left at my house months ago. She doesn't thank me as I hand them to her, but I don't expect her to. Instead she tosses her torn jeans at me then begins undoing the buttons of my shirt that she's still got on.

"Don't look." She requests quietly, stopping herself from being fully exposed in front of me before she has the last few buttons undone.

"Kate, I was inside of you less than an hour ago." I answer with a chuckle, but she doesn't seem amused at all by my vulgar comment. She only continues staring at me expectantly while waiting for me to look away. I take the cue and turn my body around so that I'm staring in the opposite direction while she audibly rustles around behind me as she changes into her clothes.