To anyone that wonders if I'm writing about them: I am

12.

I'm hella comfortable calling myself  stupid now
Every damn time I miss him I text him "hey"
Well for once quotes are actually meaning something to me.
You see it's easy
Way easy to say something and tell yourself something
But actually doing it?
Hell no
That's really hard
Pulling through
Keeping commitments you've made to yourself
Like it's really hard
I honestly don't care who you think you are or how tuff you believe you're spirit is
But, when it comes down to it we all know the truth
If you miss someone you wait constantly for reassurance that they'll come back
That this is just fake or pretend they didn't actually
Break up with you or leave you in more serious cases die... Etc.
I read this quote that said " to anyone who wonders if they should contact someone they miss...
If a person is willing to live without you , then they should."
I can promise you 100% I've never seen this before
I might've seen something close enough to it, but this here I've never came across
And GODBLESS that I've come across it now
You see I'm a firm believer in the saying or fact that God puts people and situations and moments in your life for a reason, for a specific time, place, and outcome
He knows
He's always known
You know what you're gonna do and what you want to do
He knows what's gonna happen
Likewise the outcome of its occurrence
I say all of this to say sis,
When you are sitting miserable as hell
After you've told whomever is hurting you deep down inside that you forgive them clean your closet
My bestfriend she told me to "clean my closet"
I didn't understand at first but she said "a clean closet is a neat closet, they save lives"
Admit it
Stop Lying to yourself
Tell yourself make a list as well all the things that are making you feel down right now
In this moment
Or in the moment you catch yourself ready to cry
Write it all out
No more dirty closets
No more shields
Let's stop hiding ourselves
Let's be true to ourselves
For we do owe it to ourselves at least to be honest
I mean honestly think about it, who's really on your team if you aren't
You have to learn how to be a player and a cheerleader
A go getter and the support
You have family and friends but you are the root
You can plant a flower but it won't grow without proper care
You are the root
The soil
But you have to also be the water and the sun
So sis, I actually say all of this to say (for real this time)
That quote made me realize today
In my last period of school, that I owe it to none to initiate the "hello"
I owe it to none to feel bad that we no longer speak as often as we did before
I owe it to none to confess the hurt I am, because I've done it for myself already
I owe nothing to no other than myself
And if my tears were enough reassurance that I am hurt
If waking up this morning was enough reassurance that life goes on
If all the laughs I share per day are enough reassurance that I am still me and living and well
Then the only thing left to say is
It does get better, sis
One day, one moment, one breath
At a time
-Llogan ;)