A Year of Stories (Collection Three)

Just A Minute of Your Time

"Good evening, I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time!"

"I mean, I guess not."

"That's good to hear, you would be surprised at how many people are, 'just about to eat dinner' when I show up."

"Yea, well, I'm pretty sure my wife just left me, so you know, not much to do."

"How awful, I'm so sorry! Oh god, I should probably introduce myself, my name is Krystof – it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Yea, right. My name is Ambrose, nice hat by the way."

"Why, thank you! I got it so long ago that I sometimes forget I'm even wearing it."

"I don't know how you can, you could probably live inside of that thing."

"It is a little unwieldy, isn't it? But I assure you, it's absolutely crucial."

"Oh yea and why is that? Skin Cancer run in the family or something?"

"Oh, nothing so grim. The fact is that I'm a Vampire, and the big, floppy hat keeps me from bursting into flames all over your front porch."

"Wait, is this some kind of a joke?"

"No jokes here Ambrose. I am the genuine article, a walking, talking, occasionally flying blood sucker. Here, check out the incisors."

"Well look at that, I guess you are. So, what do you need me for? Hungry?"

"No. Nothing so crude. I'm just here to chat with you a little, and see if Vampirism is something you might be interested in."

"You want to turn me?"

"No dear boy, I want to convert you."

2.

"So tell me Ambrose, have you ever heard of Vampirism before."

"I guess...I've seen movies, read some books."

"Great! Do you know any Vampires personally?"

"Not really, the closet I've ever gotten were these kids back in High School, who liked to dress up in white face paint and read bad poetry..."

"Oh yes, them. There are a handful of us who decided to 'go Goth' as a bit lark a few years back, got us a lot of really unwanted publicity, but I assure you, most of aren't like that."

"Yea, you seem like a pretty nice guy."