A Year of Stories (Collection Three)

Big Enough For Two

"Big enough for two."

It seemed an odd claim, even at the time.

But a salesman's got to sell, and when you've got to sell, you've got to give reasons.

"Big enough for two," is as good a reason as any, I suppose.

But you still have to ask yourself, what was the engineer or architect or marketer, what was he or she or it thinking?

"Big enough for two?"

Who would want that?

I guess it doesn't matter, not really, not at that point.

Still, a little bit of privacy, everyone deserves that.

Even with the world as it is, with everything falling apart – even with wars stacked on wars like cord wood, with people selling their souls for the opportunity to sell their souls, even in this hateful ball of pollution and despair – everyone deserves a little privacy, don't they?

I don't know why I'm complaining, I bought it, didn't I?

It was mostly on a lark. At least that's what I told myself.

"Big enough for two."

I thought I'd keep it in the basement, show it off at parties, not that I threw parties, but I could, I could.

People would look at the big, orange sticker plastered on the side, and they would ask me where I got it.

I'd tell them that I didn't remember, but I would remember, I just wouldn't want them going out and getting one of their own.

"Big enough for two."

It was always a bit aspirational, I guess.

A bit of motivation.

Like a gym membership or a gun. You figure that once you have it, you'll figure out something to do with it.

If not, it would a waste of money, in a world where wasting money, is the greatest crime there is.

I guess that's why I did it.

I always knew that I would be in there someday, nailed inside until my body became fuel, ground into the Earth's machinery.

I even thought that maybe having the extra space would be nice.

"Big enough for two," like a luxury hotel.

But it wasn't, it just felt empty, emptier than my life has ever been – which is pretty darn empty.

That's why I did it.

Why I found myself a tenant.

"Big enough for two."

It most certainly is.