June 17th, 2014
"It's been six days since I nearly killed a man who was my best friend, a lifetime ago. It all seems so unreal, and yet only now is reality coming back to me. The memories flood my mind throughout all hours of the day, relentless with the force at which they pummel me. Despite what the memory or memories hold, I write them all down so that I might never forget the good and the bad that I have done. But this journal is not for those memories; I am writing in this journal for my sake and for hers.
Ophelia; I'm amazed by the fact she is sitting beside me in this very moment. Her eyes look tired underneath, and yet so full of life as she is fascinated by the littlest of things. She's reading right now, just the newspaper. I look at the way she moves, with a limp and her breathing is still ragged from her broken ribs. Patching her up was not enough to make up for what I've done to her, and yet she remains here as though she is the happiest woman alive. I don't understand it, not really, but I have a gut feeling that if she were to walk out that door right now, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. It isn't only her powers that have grounded me, but her own self. She doesn't flinch when she sees me, she doesn't glance at me with fear in her green eyes. When she looks at me, her eyes don't drift to my arm as I imagine most people's would.
I know she wants to stay, she wants to contact Steve. I'm battling with how I can ask her to come with me; I need to run. When she asked me, earlier today, what we were to do now, I told her that I would find someplace safe. That is a promise I am hoping I can keep, but my promises are thin right now. Everything feels thin; I feel as though the only thing that is keeping me here is her, and relying on someone like that is a start down a dangerous path. I'm still remembering her, and while I remember the bulk of it, there are so many missing pieces. I know I've hurt her, but I've also helped her. The good doesn't outweigh the bad, but she stays. I hope that I can give her what she wants, what she needs. We are both broken, but maybe together we can fix that."
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Reminisce: Dear O,
Fanfiction[Cover created by AFleetingDream_91] In which Steve Rogers is given Bucky's journals after his friend goes back into cryo. A letter from Bucky to Ophelia and journal entries give Steve an insight of the two years they had together. Book One is "Leav...
