April 10th, 2016
"Last night was hard, but Ophelia and I overcame an obstacle that I didn't know was there. Maybe I did know, I was never naïve enough to think that she didn't fear me throughout the years, but there were very few times that we were ever in the same room together. One of those times, however, was when HYDRA began using her as a bait dog for the Death Squad. I remember that clearly, though O and I never talked about it. She had a fit last night, it took me a long time just to wake her up. I had to hold her close so that she didn't stumble away from me in a panic; that always hurts, when she is so lost in a dream about me that she's terrified of me when she wakes. She never means it, and I never blame her, but it still hurts.
For the first time, I let Ophelia read one of my entries, that particular one from 1991. I had no idea how she thought of me, in that time and in that moment. Of course I knew she was scared of me, everyone was; but she thought I saw her as nothing, just useless and in the way, stalling true progress. I took her place in that cage because I wanted her to live, though at the time I didn't know why. Talking to her about it, or rather letting her read my exact thoughts on it, she could understand that all I wanted was to make sure she was alive at the end of the day. Even when I was so far gone, I still didn't see the need for her death, or her endless torment. I wonder now if HYDRA saw that connection, although it is unlikely because so many new generations had come and gone, while Ophelia and I remained the same.
It is truly amazing how just by talking about these things, we make our lives better. I'm sorry I ever hurt you, Ophelia, I always intend to do better by you. Every day that goes by, I always think about how I can make it up to you the things I've done. You never ask for that, and I know you never will because you don't believe I need to, but I'll never stop doing right by you."
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Reminisce: Dear O,
Fanfiction[Cover created by AFleetingDream_91] In which Steve Rogers is given Bucky's journals after his friend goes back into cryo. A letter from Bucky to Ophelia and journal entries give Steve an insight of the two years they had together. Book One is "Leav...
