December 14th, 2014
"She told me 'you're all I want in this world'.
If anything in this world could heal me, it's her.
She's so goddamn beautiful.
Tonight we reached a new level of intimacy between us; I don't know at what point she started to see how I felt, but she revealed that she felt the same tonight. It was obvious in recent weeks that she has been discovering herself, learning who she is and who she can be. It's clear to me now that she's established her own person, and it was only until she had accomplished such that she was able to take our relationship dynamic further. She's unapologetically open; she asked me to tell her what I saw when I looked at her, and I told her exactly what I had been wanting to tell her. Before, I wasn't sure she was ready to hear it. I tend to let her lead, to wait for her to be ready for each step. She needed to hear what I had to say, but I think she knew it anyways.
Which leads me to believe that she knows I love her; I fear that if I tell her the exact words I might lose her. I've learned in the worst of ways that opening up to people often leads to them being taken from me; if I tell her that I love her, I'm scared of what might be just around the corner. Who might be looking for us, and worse, who might find us. But I believe that in my words, in every single thing I say to her, she can hear it. When we talk, really talk, she shows in her eyes that she knows. She never expects me to say the words, at least not that I can tell. I am so utterly thankful for that, because I'm embarrassed to tell her I'm scared to say the words.
If you ever get a chance to read these, O, I've loved you for a very, very long time."
YOU ARE READING
Reminisce: Dear O,
Fanfiction[Cover created by AFleetingDream_91] In which Steve Rogers is given Bucky's journals after his friend goes back into cryo. A letter from Bucky to Ophelia and journal entries give Steve an insight of the two years they had together. Book One is "Leav...
