Note..
(F/n) - friend's name
(Y/n) - your name
WARNING: MIGHT TRIGGER. THERE ARE CUTTING IN HERE NOT TOO GRAFIC BUT STILL!!!!!
If you're not fond of sad stuff don't read this.
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You went out with (f/n) for the day as you needed to get some stuff for your product launch. You were infront of your and Calum's apartment door currently saying goodbye to (f/n). This was one of my favourite days... I'm glad I vlogged it as I always want to remember today.. you thought unlocking the door. You stepped inside hearing sniffing coming from the bathroom. You set your bags down and immediatly ran towards the sound. You came across the bathroom. Calum has had a past of self harm. You helped him stopping but that was a hard task as he had Chronic Depression and Severe Anxiety which meant he easily cut. He had tall brick walls with bulletproof glass, and you somehow broke them down. You were stressed to say the least. You knocked and softly said "Hey.. babe, it's me." You tried opening the door but failed as it was locked. You pleaded him to open the door.
You ran to your room and grabbed your bobby pin and started picking the lock. You heard a click and opened the door to see Calum's wrist covered in blood. You gasped and took toilet paper and started cleaning him up while he sobbed. Once he was clean you got the first aid kit and took out bandage and wrapped his wrists to stop the bleeding. You looked up seeing Calum's bloodshot eyes watching you carefully... observing you. You placed your hand on his cheeck and gave him the sweetest smile you could give. You leaned you forehead against his and stared into his eyes which showed you how broken he really was. "Why didn't you call me?" You asked. "I didn't... wanna... I... ruin your... day..." Calum said sniffling. "I don't care.." you pecked his lips softly.
You were carrying Calum to your bedroom (by that I mean like dragging him there) and placed him on the bed. You were just about to leave when he swiftly grabbed your wrist. "Where.. stay.. p..pl-please." Calum asked pleading. You've never seen him this broken before. You nodded and climbed in next to your broken boyfriend. You felt him pull you closer. You could feel the pain in the way he was holding onto you. He had you wrapped in his arms hugging you tightly with his face buried in your neck. You hugged him back and kissed the top of his head and started singing. You weren't Beyonce but you somewhat sounded decent. You sang To Build A Home.
There was a house built out of stone.
Wooden floors, walls and window sills.
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust.
This is a place where I don't feel alone.
This is a place where I feel at home.
He hugged you tighter and started crying harder. He shaked. And you carried on singing.
And I built a home
For you
For me
He started humming with you. You could hear the occasional sniff. And still held you as tight as ever.
Until it dissapeared
From me
From you
And now it's time to leave and turn to dust...
He started singing with you. His voice barely a whisper.
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed its knees
You heard his voice started getting gradually louder. Every once in a while your voice cracked.
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
This is when Calum started singing loudly. He sung at the top of his lungs crying. He held onto you digging his head further into your neck. You gripped him tightly. This was also when you realised you were also crying.
Held on as tightly as you held on me
Held on as tightly as you held on me......
He gripped onto you. You felt his pain, his shaking. You felt his wet tears. You kissed him on his head. And carried on. With his voice, once again, barely a whisper.
And I built a home
for you
for me
Until it disappeared
from me
from you
He kissed you on your lips. He kissed you with passion but not exactly that. He was sort of telling a stormy in his kiss. This was the type of kiss that made you want to cry for days because this beautiful man was broken. No, beyond broken. He was shattered. And you kissed him. Telling him a story. Telling him your story. How you're not okay either. How you're also shattered. And that you loved him. That you needed him. That he was your home. That he was you anchor. He was the one you wanted to spend the rest of you life with.
He was the one you were going to see at the end of the aisle on your wedding day. He was the one going to be your children's father. He was going to be your one and only. No, he already was and always will be.
And that's what you told him.
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust........
