The Enigma's Anomaly

I'm Not Going to Lie to You, This Is Porn

I see his form in the dark lighting and his silhouette is beautiful. I can see the sharpness of Gerard's jaw and the sparkle of light hitting his eyes. He looks so beautiful when he's not trying to be. I don't know how anyone could ever see him as anything other than the gorgeous person he is. I don't understand how anyone could ever see him as a target.

I want to be closer to him and snuggle into him, but I don't know how close we are yet. For me he's the most special guy in the world, but I don't know who I am to him. I hope he feels even a fraction of what I feel for him because my mind is an endless need to be near him.

I think for a moment before deciding to pretend I'm cold. If Gerard thinks I'm freezing it'll be an excuse for him to wrap his arm around me. I'm devious, what can I say?

"Are you cold?" he asks. Worked like a charm. I nod slightly and he smiles, before grabbing my arm and tugging me nearer to him. He doesn't have the strongest grip, but I go willingly so that his body is pressed against mine. Gerard's heat radiates into me and makes my whole body feel tingly. I allow him to put his arm around my waist and I lean the side of my body into his chest. This feels so perfect I can't even describe it.

It's so dark in here that I can barely see anything other than the television screen, but the color refracts against the glass surface of a cup on the coffee table.

I don't even remember when I put my head under his chin, and I'm not sure if I fell asleep or not, but when I wake up, I see the credits rolling down the screen and think that I must have. It feels kind of groggy or unreal so I try to move my arm only to realize that Gerard is still wrapped around me. He probably can't move because of me so I lift my head and try to pull away from him a little bit.

He doesn't tell me to stop, but he grabs my shoulder so I come to a stop anyway. It's a silent signal for me to stop moving, so I look at him. The screen allows me to see him pretty well in the dark and I suspect he muted the credits because it's silent of everything except my long breathing. Gerard's breath is hard to make out, but I don't care.

I'm not really sure what to do now because we're both just kind of sitting here and looking at each other so I bring my arm up to place it on the side of his neck. I actually feel him shiver when I do this, and I can't believe it's just because I touched him. My hand isn't cold so maybe my hand gives him the same electricity that his gives me.

"Frankie," Gerard whispers to me.

I bite my lip at the nickname and he looks deeply at me. I feel like he's trying to read my mind. He might be surprised to learn that the only thing on my mind is how fucking gorgeous he is.

I open my mouth to say something, though I'm not sure what I'm about to say, but he stops me by pulling me closer until my lips are pressed against his. I really hope my breath isn't bad, but I forget to care after a few seconds.

On instinct my eyes had closed and I can't help, but focus on the fact that this is Gerard. Not too long ago I was trying to kill him. Right now I'm in his apartment without a gun, and I'm... retired? This stupid idiot with red hair made me retire from my job just because of the way that he gets to me. I feel like a good person with him, and a bad person without him. It doesn't make sense because he makes me realize how awful the things of my past are, and yet I'm still soothed by his presence.

I glide my hand upwards so that it's on his cheek, and I can pull him closer to me without much effort. His face is pretty smooth with a few traces of stubble here and there, but I like it.

His hand is still on my waist from when he put it there who knows how long ago. I feel the hand try to move, but the absence of the warmth there makes my side freeze so I grab it and put it back in its spot. I don't care where or when, but Gerard's hands belong on me.