The Enigma's Anomaly

I Don't Love You

"Did you two have fun fucking each other's brains out? I hope you realize that there was only a hallway between us, and you may've permanently scarred me," Mikey says as soon as we walk down into the kitchen.

"I knew he was going to hear," I whisper to myself.

"Let's pretend I don't know that you had sex with my brother, okay?" Mikey says.

"You brought it up," Gerard shrugs.

"So... what do we do now?" Mikey asks. That is a very good question with so many different meanings.

"What do you mean?" Gerard questions.

"Well we're here, in the middle of nowhere. We're running away from a guy who's going to become a senator. All we're doing is just lounging out. Is that it? Is that our life now? What about Frank and I's jobs? Friends? Life?"

"Well you weren't going to have a life if you stayed, Mikes," Gerard says.

"No, I know that. That's not my question. My question is what now?"

I don't know what to say. I'm focusing on getting better and being as near to Gerard as I can get. It's a little awkward with Mikey right there all the time, but Gerard and I have been through a lot more shit then a pesky sibling.

"God, I wish I didn't drag you both into this," Gerard says and he collapses his head onto the kitchen counter.

"You know this isn't your fault though, Gerard," I say.

"No? Who does Banks want dead enough that he's willing to kill everyone who gets in his way? That includes his own partners. He's ruthless, and he's coming after me, but he's going to take everyone down with me."

"Gerard, really, it is not your fault," Mikey says.

"You're my brother Mikey. I don't want to see you dead, but it's because of me that someone else wants to see you dead," Gerard says making harsh eye contact with him then he looks to me, "and you Frank. If I had just never met you..."

I'm starting to get a little annoyed with the way Gerard keeps saying things like that. I love him, and that's not a choice I made. Why on earth would I have decided to fall in love with someone that I was meant to kill? I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him, but I did, and he actually thinks I actively decided to? I did not mean for this to go as far as it did with him, but this is my life now.

"That's bullshit Gerard. If you'd never met me you'd be dead right now," I say, a little angrily, but I don't mean to.

"Yeah, he's right Gerard. You'd have died at that charity dinner if it weren't for Frank," Mikey says and I'd almost forgotten that he doesn't even know. He's so clueless as to what's really going on.

Mikey sees this as a former boss of Gerard's getting mad for him basing a comic book character after him. Mikey sees me as the guy who wrote an article on Gerard and accidentally fell in love with the subject. Mikey sees this as Gerard bringing his boyfriend to a safe house. He doesn't know anything.

"You just don't get it though," Gerard says, looking at me sternly, "no matter what you say, and no matter how you try to swing this, it's my actions that led to this."

"You're not the one who hired the assass-"

"That's not the point! I did something that was worth hiring assassins over!" Gerard's starting to raise his voice and I definitely do not like the way it feels on him.

"You made a mistake, Gerard. It doesn't merit an army of murderers," I say.

"It doesn't matter what I did, it's the fact that it was me that did it. If I hadn't been such a fucking idiot, then neither of you would be in danger right now, and it would be so much better."