The Enigma's Anomaly

Breaking in Bad

"Just because I accept it doesn't mean I want to participate in it."

"I'm not asking you to kill a guy I'm just asking you to break into a house."

"A dead guy's house!"

I've been getting complaining from Gerard for twenty minutes. I don't know what he expects from me? Just because Officer Roland is a dead guy doesn't mean I'm going to let him off the hook for throwing me into a large body of water to die. It's been two days! The cops can't really care that much, can they? He's a dead guy with apparent proof that he's a horrible man. They found files on his body or something that incriminate him. The lady cop wasn't happy about the fact that I was being truthful about that, but I'm alright with it.

I want to see what else he's got in his home. I'm much more familiar with the workings of this life then the cops. Sure the cops know the rudiments, but they haven't a clue what it's like in the mind of someone like myself. They don't know the mechanics or the details.

"You don't have to do any actual breaking in, I've just never broke into a cops house," I tell him.

"Oh, so you've broken into other peoples apartments then," he states.

"Dude, I broke into you're apartment even. And Mikey's. It's not that hard if you don't take anything," I tell him.

"Forgive me for being abnormally vanilla, but isn't the point of breaking into someone's home to take stuff? Isn't that the point?"

"There's burglary and then there's looking around. I don't take things usually, that's for robbers. I'm not like that. Well, sometimes I hide the TV remote to tick people off, but I don't generally steal things from homes," I say. I leave the part out where I pick-pocket things because something's don't need to be said.

"So hold on, is there a specific academy for all things illegal that I'm unaware of?" Gerard exasperates, and he looks completely lost. He's leaning against the bedroom door with his head against the wood and his eyes trained on the ceiling.

"Naw, you just learn these things. It's not that hard. Wear gloves, pick up any and all shell casings, never put on cologne, keep your head down, and your face away from cameras," I say, "the skill comes in not getting caught. Anyone can commit a crime, but only few can get away with it."

"But you're retired?" he says.

"From killing people. I made no promise about breaking in. I don't want to steal anything, that's not my thing, I just want to take a look around. And as soon as you're safe then I'm completely done with the business, but I'm not going to stand back and let someone try to hurt you."

Gerard groans, "But I don't want to, like, do that! It's illegal! It's bad! Can't you do this by yourself?"

I turn to him and frown, "Gerard, the cops are idiots. They're not going to get the answers I can get. They don't have the power nor the jurisdiction. It's not that hard, Gerard! All I need you to do is tell me if someone's about to come in. Just watch my back and I'll have more answers hopefully."

"And how will I know if someone's coming?"

"Simple, he lived in a condo. Entrance is off the parking lot. Clear view of the front door for anyone whose looking. Swanky place too. Wasn't paid for with no cop money, that's for sure. Either our dead friend had a rich dead relative who left him an inheritance or he had a not-so-legal side job," I tell him.

"You can't know that. Maybe it was just a onetime thing? He could've gotten that cash somewhere else!"

"Well Gerard, I may have swiped his file from the police and made a copy of it, and I can tell you that he didn't win the lottery, nor does he have a gambling habit. Usually with these things, the most obvious answer is the right one. He's a bad man. Did bad things. Didn't do bad things because he had to, he did 'em because he could. There's a difference between wanting to see people in pain, and wanting to live another day. This guy was a sadist in every sense of the word. Liked seeing people squirm, and not in the good way. I'm not like that, nor have I ever had the desire to be like that. He wasn't in it for the money, that was just a plus. He was in it for the fun. That's a scary thing for a man to be. I maybe a Reynolds, but I ain't no Niska," I may still have Firefly on my mind from that dream, but it's as good a comparison as any.