The Enigma's Anomaly

The Wrong Way

"Just think rationally here, okay? I mean he's alright. He's Gerard, it's not like he went wondering off into the distance in search of Cibola. He's just... I don't know taking a walk."

"You and I both know that Gerard isn't sadistic enough to do that without telling us beforehand. If he's not here by now, there's a reason why, and I need to know what it is!" I say, walking across the room back to the table.

"What are you going to do? Go driving around for him?" Mikey asks.

"I don't know. Yes. Maybe? I might. Where is he, Mikey?"

"If I knew then I would tell you to get you to calm down, but I don't know so I can't give you an answer," he answers.

"But what do you think? Honestly, and don't you dare sugarcoat it."

"I think he should be back by now," Mikey admits, "but that doesn't mean he's in trouble! The fact is that I don't know."

"Fuck, Mikey. I can't even... if he's not okay, I don't know what-"

"Frank! He's fine, I'm sure he's fine. There is no reason to freak out. Okay, Frank, we can go look for him. We'll go look for him, okay?"

I nod quickly when he options off looking for Gerard, because I do want nothing more than to go out and find him. I don't like the fact that he's not here. It's making my breathing quicken, and it's coming out wheezy.

"Frank? You good? You're pacing."

"What? Sorry, let's go look for him. I need to know he's okay," I say, and Mikey nods nervously. I must look like a complete idiot walking all over the room, randomly. I'm trying to get my mind to focus on one thing rather than the multiple different things that might be happening to Gerard right now. He could have a knife in his stomach right now. He could be having sex.

I shake that thought away. He loves me, he wouldn't do that. It is a distinct possibility though. I don't know if I'd rather find him bleeding somewhere or cheating on me though. They both sound pretty awful. I know I'm selfish, I know I am, but that doesn't mean I don't love Gerard with all my heart. It would kill me just as much to know I can't have him as it would to know he's not even alive. It's an awful thought, but the despicableness makes it no less true.

"Alright, Frank, I'll take the car and drive around looking for him, okay? You can go walk around then."

I look at Mikey who's eyeing me like I'm about to break something, but I just nod, and head over to the door, not bothering to look back to see if he's following.

The door opens into the generic hallway that I walk down quickly, and I hear Mikey following behind me, just not as loudly.

"What are you doing?" he asks, when I get to the car and pull open the trunk.

"I'm getting a gun," I tell him, when I find the revolver.

"Why?" he asks, "how do you know you're going to need that? What if you get in trouble with someone? You don't have a permit or anything to carry that."

"That's why I'm not going to shout out to everyone that walks by me that I'm carrying a gun," I tell Mikey and step away from the car, shoving the trunk closed with a slam that makes me fidget.

"I think you're being paranoid, Frank. There's probably a perfectly natural explanation for Gerard's absence, okay?"

"Then why do you look so scared, Mikes?"

"Because you just grabbed a gun and you're psyching me into getting all nervous like you!"

"That's good, you should be scared! It'll keep your wits up," I say, and Mikey gives me an unreadable expression.