Worth The Wait? (Seme Male Reader x Zoro) {One Piece}

chapter 33

later on that night...

reader pov

i woke up with a start. i craned my head to look at the clock, 1:02 am. i sighed. this is why i didn't want to go to sleep that early. i knew that meant i would be up and not be able to get back to sleep. im fully awoke. i saw the notification light on my phone flashing. i reached over and picked it up. i turned on the screen. i looked at it for a long while. i didn't know what to feel about it. i mean....do i have a right to be upset here? i had to admit ive been less than faithful in our relationship but at least what i did was for us. this....this wallpaper is something else. another instance of me picking up the wrong phone due to us having the same case revealed my future husband and his ex making out in a photo that was set as his wallpaper. i sighed. there must be more to this photo than meets the eye. i unlocked his phone, surprised it was the same password. i went to his photos. another surprise. not the only one either. both are smiling, laughing, lots of kissing. i looked at the dates on the photos. they weren't just recent....they were dated from the day i left to the day i got back. i sighed. "....i...i can explain," i turned my head to look at him. yeah. he was watching me looking through the pictures. i had to think. what should i do here? i cant really reveal that i cheated without going into the details of why. "...i dont want you too....at least not till i can tell you everything," i whispered. yeah. it appears we both haven't been as faithful as we wanted to. at least i didn't want to do what i did. i tried to get out of it. i mean....i fucking killed two people because of it so yeah....my infidelity was far from desired and i did make the effort to try and avoid it. i cheated with crocodile. ill admit it and i know that isn't forgivable but i didn't want to. i didn't smile while doin it. i was only able to do it cause i thought of him. i only did it to keep him safe. when it was shown that it still wouldn't i fucking KILLED them. both of them. dead. gone. never coming back to life. and because of it i inherited 20 houses, 47 warehouses, and around 78 billion dollars and that's just from crocodile. what benefit did he get out of being with sanji? some ass? cause that's the only thing he couldn't get from me. im rich. soooooo much fucking money i LITERALLY cant spend it all. im a singer, songwriter, and dancer/choreographer. i have a VERY successful music career. i mean....that's kinda the reason we even met. id like to believe im good in bed. at least that's what ive been told. i dont know. i dont know what to think here. maybe it was his revenge? i mean....it is because of me he has these scars. hes blind in one eye, long scar on his chest, and two scars on his ankles. couldn't walk for the past couple of weeks. maybe that's it? i scrolled through his gallery. oh. there is a video. its kinda dark so i cant really make out who it is. i pushed play. "...AAARRHH.....UUHHH....harder....faster.....(moaning)..." i stopped it immediately. i recognize that voice. i wish i didn't but i do. the voice of my fiancé's ex lover. not that i think of it....there is a third smell on these sheets. mine, his, and a third unfamiliar smell. i giggled. i sure hope its not what i think it is. its not the fact that he cheated that makes me upset. no...cause ive cheated too. no. its that fact that he ENJOYED it. that's it right there. yeah. i do have a right to be upset here. he fucking enjoyed being with another man. i went about tying up loose ends, rushing to get back here. i declared myself monogamous just so i could endure the wait with him. oh...and lets not forget the two murders i committed. yeah. i did it. i put the poison in crocodile's breakfast and watched him eat it. i ordered viola to poison doffy. so yeah....im a murderer. i did it for us. I DID IT FOR US!! yeah i was crying. crying at the thought that i did soooo many things that if they were found out by the police, i would get the death penalty. yeah. not life in prison, definitely the death penalty. i mean....the underworld moves over 7 trillion dollars every single day and guess who all of that goes through? ME. when i took over for crocodile, it was all me. when i killed him, that sealed my fate. i can never have a normal life again. EVER. so yeah. im upset. im fucking pissed. this is torture. not being able to discuss the dark side of my life with the man i plan to marry in just a few months. eats at my soul every second of every day. i was willing to endure it cause i thought we were both suffering. i had to burden him with the knowledge that there are sooo many secrets that i cant tell him. not till he says 'i do' and then what? when i do tell him, then what? cause that means he cant have a normal life ever again. he will become an accessory to it all. he might get away with life in prison if he is lucky and that's just with knowing what i know. aint no divorcing me. not till we have been married at least 5 years. its only then that he could become my doffy in essence. it would be EXACTYLY like what happened with crocodile and doffy. i went through with this thinking that this would be different. that me and zoro would be different. i was laughing hysterically. laughing and sobbing at the same fucking time! i pushed my self up off of him. he gripped my head with both hands. i looked at him. yeah. he was crying too. looking at me with such a sad and sincere eye. like he was really sorry. tsk...like i could believe that. that's not a fake smile right there. i work in the fucking underworld and i know a fake when i see it. ive seen soooooo many liars and thieves. con men and other unsavory folk. so yeah....im pretty confident in my judge of character. i know a fake when i see it and that smile wasn't fake. i pried his hands from around my face. his legs tightened around me. he was saying something. i didn't give a fuck. i dont wanna hear it. sorry wont cut it here. nope. i pried his legs from around me. i pushed off the bed and got up. yeah. he grabbed my hand. didn't wanna let me go. "...i...i can explain!!!" i sighed. i guess the horrible part is that i cant let him explain cause i would have to explain what i did. i guess i can give him a taste. "...im not upset that you cheated. im not even upset that it was with sanji. nope. im upset that you enjoyed cheating on your future  husband," i think i whispered it. i dont know. by the look on his face i think he heard me. i rolled my wrist out of his grip. i grabbed my undies and put them on. i grabbed my phone and paged a car. i need to get away. i dont know nor care where. just away. clear my head. think about what is going on. what to do. how to approach this situation cause i dont want to make any hasty decisions here. nope. i grabbed some shorts and a tee and headed out. he kept calling after me. nah. im not coming back. probably for some time. anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. i dont know. just away. i walked out.