With Their Eyes Filled With Stars

.38.

We end up all going to the park after hanging at mine for at least an hour. Each walking in separate small groups as we enter the large field, Luke primarily leading the group to the oak tree at the back. I hang at the back with Phil who, weirdly, had begun to not input in conversations and pick at his nails when we were at mine.

"Phil. You would tell me if you feel bad, yeah?" I whisper, softly brushing his hand with mine for we are still in public. And we are still afraid.
He looks up at me and smiles, "Of course but I'm fine, Bear." His voice is quiet and weary.  "I'm just..I'm just thinking, that's all." Phil adds with a shrug before smiling more.

I raise a brow but smile back, "Thinking about what?" I say and he just shrugs. I expect him to just be taking a minute to answer but he doesn't speak again until we have reached the tree and have gotten all the blankets out, each sitting on an edge. Phil, obviously, takes a seat beside me. I watch him for a while with sad eyes before clicking out of it and trying to focus on someone else's conversation.

"Wait! What?!" I hear Chris exclaim and turn my head to focus on his conversation with PJ. PJ shrugs, giving Chris a huge grin, "I thought you would be perfect for the role and anyway I kinda wrote it to be played by you!" He laughs and rubs the back of his neck. Chris quickly pulls into a hug and PJ laughs more.

"So, you're saying that you would eat a cake made of dirt and worms?" Jack laughs at Emma who looks put out. "Right, if the options were eat a cake of dirt and worms or a cake of shit, like you said the options were, I would eat dirt!" Emma huffs at which Jack laughs at more.

"We should totally do that together someday!" Hazel smiles at an eager looking Dodie. "Really?!" Dodie giggles and Hazel nods, "Yeah, I over-heard you singing in the music block once. You are really talented, I think I would be honoured to have a little singing session with you!" Hazel chuckles.

"I'm a vegan, I'm not going to mix orange squash with milk!" Luke laughs and Dean sighs. "Well I guess it should work with almond milk?" He says and Luke shakes his head. Evan laughs at Luke's frown before adding in "I will try it for you, Dean." He stares at Luke with jokey hatred.

Phil's soft hair brushing my neck makes me jump and makes him lift his head quickly off my shoulder. He looks at me with apologetic eyes, "Sorry...you made me jump..." i whisper quietly and he smiles, leaning back onto my shoulder. Carefully, I take hold of his hand in mine, looking at all the little white plasters over his knuckles.
"How are you feeling..?" My voice is hushed as I mumble my words into his nest of black hair. He lets out a relaxed sigh, "I hurt, like, everywhere. But I'm happy." Phil whispers, his hot breath dancing over my sensitive neck making me quiver.

Phil looks up at me when I shiver and quickly sits up to take his white, red and blue bomber jacket off. He drapes it over my shoulders before leaning back into the crook of my neck. "I...I wasn't cold." I whisper to him, not being able to stop the gigantic smile covering my face. "You shivered, so, you are." Phil whispers back, pressing a kiss to the side of my neck.

I turn and he lifts his head, "No. You're going to get cold." I say with my soft eyes searching his face. Subconsciously I place my hand on his wrist but he flinches and tugs away from me. In confusion I stare at him, "Are you okay?" he shakes his head immediately in response. "I'm s-sorry...I'm sorry..." Phil begins to sob, his fingers picking at his t-shirt. I raise a brow and attempt to take his hands but he stands up. Everyone looks. "I've...I've got t-to go.." Phil sobs whilst shaking from the  impact of them, "I will s-see you at h-home...Im sorry.."

Quickly I scramble up and tug his jacket off my shoulders, back around his own. I look around with wide eyes at my friends with an apologetic shrug before turning back to Phil, "Hey..." I whisper, crouching down slightly to look up into his eyes. "Let's go home, okay? You don't have to apologise. Come on." My voice is hushed to calm him slightly. He nods his head and begins to walk, arms hugged around his body and sobs still shaking him.

"Go. Make sure he's okay." Dodie whispers, taking hold of my hand as she stands and pulls me into a brief hug. "Text me. Please." She mumbles into my ear before letting me go after Phil.

As soon as we step through the door of my house Phil drops to the floor and repetitively apologises. I sit beside him and cautiously wrap my arm around him, he instantly melts into my touch and shakily sobs into my chest. "Bath and hot chocolate?" I whisper, running my fingers through his pure black hair. Hastily he nods his head and I chew my lip, scooping him up in my arms shakily. Carefully I head up the stairs with him buried into my body as he cries.

The steam of the bath swirls through the air being caught by the thin pieces of sunlight that pierce through gaps in the rickety blinds. Phil's long thin hands wrap around the green spotted mug as if it is a small kitten he needs to protect from the world. His shining blue eyes stay still, staring into the clear water surrounding him, they are still red from his tears. The only sound filling the complete silence is the soft song of a blackbird outside the window.

"You didn't have to come back with me..." Phil says almost without a sound, "I mean, you can leave me here now and go back.." he adds avoiding my eyecontact. I sigh and lean my chin on the side of the bath, "I'm staying here beside you until I can tell you are fully back to being my little ball of sunshine."

He slowly looks up at me and I smile softly, "Are you ready to tell me what happened..?" I say cautiously but he quickly shakes his head. His eyes divert back to look into his mug, "Not yet...it's stupid anyway..." he mumbles. I offer my hand to him, biting my lip as I question if he was going to take it.

He does.

"Nothing will make it stupid, okay? And don't force yourself to tell me. I just want you to feel better." I say and a tiny smile appears on his face. Carefully I squeeze his hand slightly before rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand in gentle circles.

"Don't leave." Phil says, his voice almost sad.

"I wasn't planning on." I reply.

"Will you stay forever...?" he whispers innocently.

"Forever and ever and ever."

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Why hello friends!

Another chapter for you to indulge in! It was gonna be fluff but I sat down to finish it and accidentally had sad music on in the background ??? But more drama I guess haha!!

Also, in case you didn't know, I'm currently working on a little angsty phanfic! I've written two chapters and hoping to upload soon! It would mean the world to me if you checked it out because I've been wanting to do that kind of concept for a while!

Mmkay! Have a good day my friend!

-Connie ((: