Stoned on Jones {A Brian Jones Story}

Chapter 24 - Do Over

My mind was like a movie reel, my eyes never leaving the grounds as so many memories suddenly came back to me in full force. Brian's smiling, beautiful face looking back at me as him and Luther ran about the garden, Brian throwing a stick for sweet, beautiful Luther. And all the while, the only sound that could be heard was his laughter like the sweetest music in the entire world.

My gaze then traveled to different paths around the surrounding area, seeing Brian once more walking them as he showed this off and that off to several different people, a little smile coming to my lips at the mere sight of his proud smile.

For the past two days now, I've been seeing past things. Things that have happened in the past few months here in Cotchford Farm. And somehow, it's not comforting. It's like his life is being shown in some big whirlwind, like it's showing me his face one last time. Like just last night, Louisa, Lewis and Brian all three sat around in the sitting room, just gazing over random pictures they brought along with them. Times when Brian was a little lad. He was always so adorable.

I walked in at one point upon hearing all the happy laughter from them, seeing Brian looking on at his parents with such a huge smile on his face. A relieved smile. He was truly happy. His parents are coming back into his life after so long of not really being there. That's what he always wanted. Who doesn't want their parents love to be honest?

But as i stood in the entry way, a big smile developing on my face, my eyes went wide as everything around me suddenly changed, like it was changing to another scene in a big play. And sitting there now was a little Brian atop Lewis's lap, while Louisa took picture after picture of a happy baby Brian. And in that moment, my eyes watered so terribly just seeing Brian looking so happy. Seeing him as the innocent person he's truly always been.

He was stripped of that really. But honestly, he never really lost it at the same time. He was just played so many times. He was used and knocked down. So he became this guy that could be tough as nails and hard headed. He could be mean at times.

But he just didn't want people using him is all. They figured since he was this really nice guy, they could easily do something and never have him do a thing to stop it. He's got a heart is all.

I had blinked, bringing me back into the now, just as Brian's eyes landed on mine with so much happiness in them, gesturing me to him and his parents. And we all sat there for hours and hours, just talking and laughing. Until night time rolled around and everyone retired to their rooms. But before his parents could retire for the night, Brian ran up and hugged his father so tightly, holding on for dear life.

"I love you dad...." And my heart had shattered into tiny little pieces upon hearing his soft words spoken. I had hidden behind my door, not wanting to stop this moment. So many things are happening at such different times than what's in the actual history of Brian's life. But Brian's still here. And I don't want that to end.

I know that it will. I know this and it keeps haunting my mind. I hate it. I just.... hate it. Brian Jones is such a wonderful man that never got to fully live a life he deserved. I wish I could give him the life he deserves. The one he dreamed of. A do over.