Going Viral

21: Choose

"Hey." Lucas said as I walked into his room, shutting the door behind me.

"Hi" I smiled awkwardly as I leant against the wall.

"Have you spoke to Ava yet?"

"Not yet. I'm gonna go over to her room in a minute to talk to her"

"Cool." He bit his lip. "Em. Nancy's on her way over right now"

"Oh ok. I better go." I opened the door slowly and smiled at him.

"Yeah. See ya" he said as he walked over the me.

I nodded and walked out, he didn't even stop me for a kiss - like he normally did. What was up? That conversation was so dry and lifeless.

I made my way to Ava's room and saw her sitting on her bedroom floor, playing with her doll house.

"Hey" I smiled at her.

"Hello" she said in a high pitched voice and shaking her doll around.

"I need to talk to you and it's quite a grown up talk" I sat on her bed and she walked over to me, putting her toys down.

"What is it?"

"Are you telling people about what you saw me and Lucas doing the other night" I placed my hand on hers.

"Iv told Riley and Farkle because there your bestfriends"

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone else. Please."

"Why not."

"Because... This is a secret. I was actually kissing Lucas"

"I knew that" she laughed.

"Okay, but Lucas has a girlfriend-"

"Nancy."

"Yeah, and she can't know about it. I'm not gonna kiss him again" I lied, "so can you keep the secret from her and everyone else?"

"I promise" she said, holding out her pinky.

"Thank you" I smiled as I pinky promised her.

I began to walk out of the door, "Maya" Ava said. "Merry Christmas for tomorrow"

"Yeah, you too" I said, closing her door behind me.

To get downstairs I had to walk past Lucas room, so I decided to poke my head in and tell him I'd talked to Ava.

I pushed the door open, "Lucas, I had a chat with Ava and-"

Lucas jumped off of his bed and put his top on, rubbing the lip stick off his face.

"Oh. Your home" I said, looking at Nancy. "Welcome back"

"Thanks, I was just having a little reunion with Lucas so can you go now?" She said, titling her head.

"Yeah, but just be quiet whilst doing so: Ava is only down the hall."

"Sure" Lucas said, rubbing his neck and walking over to me at the door. "Talk to you later" he said, quietly.

I nodded and walked out, for the first time in a while I felt jealous.

----

A hour or more later we were all sitting downstairs watching a Disney movie - Ava's choice of course.

I was sitting on my own whilst Riley was snuggling into Farkle and Nancy was snuggling into Lucas - who kept looking at me with sorrow.

"You know what guys, I don't wanna watch a kids movie," I looked at Ava. "No offence! So I'm gonna go to my room. Have fun."

"But it's 7pm" Ava said.

"Well maybe I'll go shower or something, I just don't wanna be here" I said as I walked away.

I was sitting in my room, when at about 8pm Lucas came in. "Hey..." He said.

I walked over to him and closed the door, "hi."

"I wanted to see if you were showering..." He said jokingly.

"Yeah well I'm not." I said, sitting on my bed.

"Yeah, I can see." He said, sitting next to me. "I thought you loved Disney films, why didn't you stay and watch it with us?"

"I just wasn't feeling comfortable, everyone was with the person they like and I wasn't."

"I wasn't with the person I like." He said, holding my hand.

"You do like Nancy, it's obvious."

"Okay then, I wasn't with the person I love." He flashed a big smile at me, the one that made me feel fluttery inside.

"Choose Lucas." I said, not letting myself get distracted by his grin.

"Choose?"

"Me, or Nancy?"

"Maya, how do you expect me to choose? It's like picking your favourite candy bar that has an expiration date or a normal one that lasts a lifetime." He moaned.

"I don't have an expiration date Lucas."

"Really? Because soon your leaving, and that seems similar to me."

"Yeah but it don't mean we can't be together"

"But it does Maya," he said, frowning. "Face it, when your in New York were basically worlds apart."

"So you choose Nancy" I said bitting my lip so I don't cry and looking down.

He lifted up my chin, "I want to pick you, I really do. It'll just be to hard for both of us to have a relationship long distance."

"Yeah, I suppose so..."

"Great, plus I'm sure there loads of guys that want you in New York."

"But I won't want any of them back" I sighed. "Your different to them all Lucas."

"And your different to any girl Iv ever met too!" He rubbed my cheek, "I'll always love you Maya."

"Yeah, you too huckleberry."

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Facing It On Christmas Eve.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone, I hope your all drinking hot coco right now all snuggled up with a blanket like I am.

Today, I faced reality - meaning not being with cowboy. We had a talk and he was completely right, when I go to New York things won't work, I didn't even talk to him last time I went home.

So I wanna give you all some advice. If there's anything, anything! that you need to face do it, you'll feel a whole lot better afterwards like I am.

I don't know what going to happen between me and Cowboy for the rest of the holidays, will we remain as friends who occasionally make out? Or will we not talk and then I go home sad?

Or am I just overthinking everything?
- Hope Xo
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I finished off my hot chocolate and went downstairs in my pyjamas to wash up my cup. It was 11pm so I didn't expect anyone to be up.

I turned on the kitchen light and was surprised to see Nancy, sitting on the counter top with a glass or water. She had no make up on and it was the first time I'd see her like that. She looked like a normal girl rather than a well known model.

"You scared me!" I said, laughing as I walked over to the sink.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to" she said. She was acting like a normal girl too, what was going on?

"Why are you still up?" I asked, washing the cup.

"I'm not..." She said, getting up and walking over to the stairs "goodnight"

"Night" I giggled.

After washing up I went back upstairs. When I walked in my room I spotted my laptop, open on top of my bed. I'm sure that wasn't how I left it. After every blog I close it and put it on my desk so it's out of the way.

"Spooky..." I said quietly as I opened it up to see everything was how I left it.