Tripping: The Wasted Series, Book 1

29. Tripp

Argh. It's been about two weeks since I last saw Poe. I am pissed at Lanie because even though she wouldn't tell me where Poe was I called ever single place within a fifty mile radius to find her. When I finally found her and called the place they told me I cannot visit. So I naturally asked why is that. He said her 'sister' gave the staff a list of people who could visit and could not and I was on the not list. That just pisses me off. So, right now I am in my dingy house, no money, no drugs and no hope.

I started to think about Serena. I took her up on that date and got the rest of my shit from her. After that I honestly didn't have much money on me anymore. So when I told her that (due to the fact, she wanted me to take her to this swanky restaurant for dinner) she basically got a wee bit vocal on me and cussed me out and then pushed my ass out of her house saying for me never to come back. Freaking women.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I woke up it was dawn. I could feel my body start to betray me. It is trying to get rid of the poison in my system. Dammit. I hate when this happens. My body starts to ache and every bone feels like it is pulsating and trying to break through my skin as if screaming to let me know they need room to stretch. I try to lay down again but that was of no use. The bed just felt suffocating to me. I tried pacing around the house but my pain was coming in stronger bursts. I am getting antsy and so I start looking around my already disheveled home. I never bother fixing it after I came back and found missing. Please! Please! I wail to myself. I must have something stashed somewhere. I start at all my usual hiding places, under the lifted up corner of my bedroom rug. Nope. Under my mattress. Naw. Shit. In the bathroom taped inside the toilet tank. Nothing. I run to my dad's bedroom and look under his mattress and under the throw rug. Double negative. Argh! I am getting quite fidgety now and a tad upset. My body starts shaking from cold sweats. Tripp, I say to myself, you've been here and know what comes. Just get up forget about being cold and look dammit! LOOK!

Fine! I argue with myself.

Off to the living room I go. I check under all the cushions even though I know nothing will be there because most of them are already overturned. Think. Hmm. She never looked inside the cushions! Sometimes I'll stash a few bags inside the zip part of them. I start unzipping each cushion frantically. One by one my hand goes inside and searches. I am getting frustrated so now I start pulling the cushions out of the zipped cushion holders. Since I found nothing I thought it would be a good idea to cut my whole couch apart to make sure I left nothing untouched. My living room is now a complete and utter disaster. I have cotton cushion insides everywhere. That stuff is a pain to clean.

Desperately, I hold my head and think of places where even just one tiny bag could be.

The medicine cabinet pops into my head! I run to the bathroom and start opening bottle upon bottle of pills. I dump out the pill bottles that have no value to me like an old prescription of antibiotics that my dad got. And a bottle of tums and some other things I couldn't use. I see one bottle I had not checked yet so I slowly grab it from the top shelf of the cabinet and shake it a bit. Hmm. It seems like nothing is in it but the pills. Damn. I open the pill bottle and take a peek inside. My jaw drops in blissful recognition.

I can't believe I forgot these were here. Ages ago my dad was in an accident and got prescribed pain meds. I take a pill out of the container to get a better look at it, to determine if I am correct as to what it is exactly. It is a small yellow pill with the number 40 on one side and the letters OC on the opposite side. Oxycontin! The bottle is pretty much full. My dad wasn't much into pain killers because he had the best remedy for pain - booze.

I grab the bottle and run to the kitchen and wipe up the top of the counter to make sure it's not wet. Then I open a drawer and grab the first knife I see. I pour some pills onto the counter and start smashing them up so they are all powdered. I grin to myself. I push the powder into 4 lines and hunt down a straw. I know weird adults with straws. But adults with bad habbits always needs something if a bill isn't available to them. After what seems like an eternity I find a straw. I grab the shears and cut it so it is about three inches long. I put the straw to my nose, bend my head over the counter, and sniff up the lines in utter euphoria.

I don't bother to move much. I turn my back to the counter and slide down to a sitting position with my head leaned back against a cabinet door and my body feels like my own once more.

Every few hours I would stand up and repeat the process of smashing the pills, making lines, inhale lines, slide to the ground and be in control once again.

The day turns into night which turns back into day then dusk arrives in painful realization my drugs are gone and I no longer have rule of my own body.

Hours go by and my body slowly turns on me. I start aching again. I am so cold I bundled myself up in my coat and a couple pairs of sweatpants. I can't seem to get off of my kitchen floor, so I decided to drop my upper body and let it crash to the floor and curl up in the fetal position. That only helps for a bit. My head spins and my stomach retches. I crawl as fast as I could manage to the toilet and throw up lots of bile. I remember I haven't eaten in days. I feel so weak i decide to stay on the toilet floor with my head leaning on the mighty porcelain god.

Apparently I fell asleep for a few fitful hours. My body and especially my neck ached so bad I moaned when I tried to move. I had to get these wet clothes off me, they just sucked to my skin making my insides cringe more than necessary. Finally, after wrestling with every layer I was undressed. I can't even imagine how long it took me to do it. I pull my limp body up, holding onto the side of the tub and turn the water to as hot as I can get it. I slowly dip my toe in the scalding water, but shiver. I have to get this film that is coating my body off me. I descend into the watery depths of the tub and sink down as far as I can go, so I have my entire person engulfed in the water. I still shiver but at least I can get rid of that layer of toxin that is enveloping me.

I feel my head and eyelids getting heavier. Slowly my eyes close and my head bobs a bit.I feel my head slowly sliding down the slick, wet inside of the tub and I doze off into blackness.

.

I don't bother to move much. I turn my back to the counter and slide down to a sitting position with my head leaned back against a cabinet door and my body feels like my own once more.

Every few hours I would stand up and repeat the process of smashing the pills, making lines, inhale lines, slide to the ground and be in control once again.

The day turns into night which turns back into day then dusk arrives in painful realization my drugs are gone and I no longer have the rule of my own body.

Hours go by and my body slowly turns on me. I start aching again. I am so cold I bundled myself up in my coat and a couple pairs of sweatpants. I can't seem to get off of my kitchen floor, so I decided to drop my upper body and let it crash to the floor and curl up in the fetal position. That only helps for a bit. My head spins and my stomach retches. I crawl as fast as I could manage to the toilet and throw up lots of bile. I remember I haven't eaten in days. I feel so weak i decide to stay on the toilet floor with my head leaning on the mighty porcelain god.

Apparently I fell asleep for a few fitful hours. My body and especially my neck ached so bad I moaned when I tried to move. I had to get these wet clothes off me, they just sucked at my skin making my insides cringe more than necessary. Finally, after wresting with every layer I was undressed. I can't even imagine how long it took me to do it. I pull my limp body up, holding onto the side of the tub and turn the water to as hot as I can get it. I slowly dip my toe in the scalding water, but shiver. I have to get this film that is coating my body off of me. I descend into the watery depths of the tub and sink down as far as I can go to so I have my entire person engulfed in the water. I still shiver but at least I can get rid of a coat of the poison that is enveloping me.

I feel my head and eyelids getting heavier. Slowly my eyes close and my head bobs a bit. I feel my head slidiing down the slick, wet inside of the tub and I doze off into blackness.