One Shots

Baby Sitkolson

Short, but I think it gets the job done ;)
Thank you @MyWarNotYours for reminding me to finish this one, life has been crazy lately and I've been lucky to sleep at night. Enjoy, and please feel free to suggest new parts in a comment!

I couldn't force myself to let go of his hand, no matter how hard he squeezed, or how loud he was cursing me out, I knew I needed to be by his side. My poor Ryan was in pain because of me.

I winced when he screamed. Hearing him hurting crippled me. I hated it.

I had thought that distancing myself from him and the baby would be for the best. No kid needed someone as fucked up as myself as their Dad, and Ryan sure as hell deserved someone who could give him more and protect him.

He held my heart, but my mind knew better than to make him suffer for my own happiness.

"One more push!" Ryan screamed, and the room soon filled with the cries of our baby girl. Tears welled in my eyes as soon as I saw her fragile body being cleaned by the nurses.

That was my beautiful baby girl, and if I didn't apologize to Ryan, she would be forced to grow up in a broken home. One where her parents argued and fought over insignificant details. A life where she felt like a mistake, instead of a miracle, as she should be.

I broke down, turning and sobbing into Ryan's sweaty chest. "I'm so sorry." I cried, not daring to look up into his eyes in fear of the rejection that should glare down at me.

"I was horrible to you, and I'm sorry." I shuddered. "I-I know I'm not going to be a good Dad, so I tried to push you away, b-but I still l-love you, Ry." I was surprised when his arms wrapped around me to comfort me. He had every right to be pissed at me, to kick me out of our daughter's life and raise her with someone else, but he chose to hold me.

Ryan kissed my forehead when I pulled away, and I frowned in confusion.

"Mr. Sitkowski." A nurse handed him our swaddled baby girl, who Ryan took very carefully into his arms and coddled close to his bare chest.

She had inherited his natural dark hair, and my pale complexion. I bent over and kissed her nose gently, astonished when her eyes snapped open and we were staring at each other. Two pairs of crystal blue eyes locked together in a silent conversation.

"Ricky..." Ryan croaked, his voice hoarse from the hours of painful labor. "All I want is for her to be happy." He paused to place a soft hand against our daughter's face. "Please stay. I love you."

I smiled down at our daughter. "I can't believe I thought about giving up something so precious." Ryan giggled and pecked my lips. "I missed you."

We made out for a few moments before our friends barged into the room and tore us apart.

"Slow down, baby Daddy." Chris teased, reaching down to take our daughter into his arms with a smile. "She's cute, but let's not make another one so soon." I choked out a laugh, burying my face in Ryan's shoulder to comfort myself.

It was hard for me to picture another sleepless night without the comfort of my guitar playing prince. Even when he was sweaty and gross from giving birth, I was unbelievably addicted to his smell. I needed Ryan. These past few months spent ignoring him made me realize that in the worst ways.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Ryan's fingers wipe at my tears. "No need to cry, honey." He kissed my lips, and I felt life being breathed back into my weak body. "All is forgiven. We love you." Hearing that forced me back into reality, and my paternal instincts kicked in.

"I want my daughter." The teeny bundle was passed back to me, and I raked my eyes over her once more to ensure her safety. "Cleo Mckenzie Olson." Ryan wrapped his longer arms around the both of us, and our daughter cooed up at him.

He kissed her on the nose, and I swear I saw her smile. It was the happiest moment of my life. To think I almost gave it up because I didn't believe I was good enough blows my mind. Ryan and Cleo were my family, and nothing will ever change that.