Ghoski pt.2

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For those of you who might be curious, the picture is of my recently finished body art.

burnyourlocalchurch you're going to be so pissed when you get to the end...

The house was silent. The echoing of skin and bone colliding and voices screaming in pain and anger that usually reverberated from the walls had ceased. This silence was a calm before the storm.

I felt useless, lying on my bed with pillows to prop me up, warm blankets tucked around me in a meek attempt to help my thin body retain heat.

Ryan said I was beautiful this way.

My body weight ninety eight pounds. He only fed me if he planned on fucking me that day, and all I ever got to eat were small pieces of fruit and bland bread. My size left my children extremely worried, but they couldn't convince their father to change his ways.

Wednesday kept swearing that he would get me out of here, away from him, but I think he underestimates the grip his father has over all of us. He was just a hopeful seventeen year old boy.

I sighed, twirling the ring around on my finger nostalgically.

I heard the faint creak of the front door from downstairs, the sound of five sets of feet scurrying inside bringing a smile to my face.

A normal mother would expect to hear her children giggling and taunting each other after a long day at school, but my precious babies had long since learned to remain as silent as possible, in case their father was home.

Normal kids would also probably run straight to the kitchen for snacks and flip on the television. The teenagers would instantly be on their cell phones, texting friends and begging to go out. The younger children would be playing with buckets of toys and laughing innocently.

My boys were the farthest thing from normal.

Grayson poked his head into the bedroom, smiling when he saw that I was sitting up and awake.

"Momma?" I smiled at the handsome young man that I created. "Hey, baby, how was school?"

I pushed myself up a little more, wincing at the pain in my lower back, and Grayson rushed forward to help me.

"Momma, be careful." He whispered, sitting down on the bed next to me to help me situate myself. His gentle hands tucked my blankets around me when he saw me shudder, a heavy frown weighing down his youthful face.

I felt my bones ache, and I groaned, leaning against my son as a wave of lethargy crashed over me.

My sixteen year old sighed and kissed my forehead.

A knock on the door made my eyes flutter, and I saw Wednesday and Honor waiting in the hall.

I forced myself to sit back up, beckoning them to me with open arms.

Honor sprinted forward with tears in his eyes, and I pulled his frail body to my chest with a painful frown.

"What's wrong, baby?" I cupped his face in my bony hands, searching his bruised face in vain. "Who hurt you?"

It was the silliest question I could have asked.

"He got in a fight with some boys at school, Ma, nothing serious." His older brother assured me, his own body littered in old scars and fading bruises from his time spent at home.

I kissed my baby on both of his cheeks, and Wednesday nudged me. I glanced up at my oldest son, eyes wide when I saw he had a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Wednesday--" My son shook his head and handed me the warm cup. "Momma, drink it, it'll make you feel better."

Greedily, I obliged. I chugged the scalding liquid from the styrofoam cup with shaking hands.

It had been days since I'd gotten to taste anything other than water. The black coffee tasted like heaven on my depraved tongue.

Wednesday knew he was risking a beating sneaking me sustenance, but I was too selfish to turn down his doting.

"Did Daddy say when he was coming home this morning?" I asked, eyeing the bedside clock nervously.

My boys shared a look.

"Grayson and I are picking him up from the bar tonight."

Honor snuggled closer to my chest, whimpering when I rubbed his back. His older brothers leaned over to kiss his cheeks, and I gave them both a heartbroken smile.

"Be careful doing business tonight." I pulled them all closer to me. "Daddy made a call to some bikers, and you know they don't mind playing dirty."

I shouldn't be having to coach my children in the ways of prostitution, but here we are.

Wednesday nodded his head and pulled away to look at the clock. "Kamryn should be waking up from his nap soon. I'll go bring him and Aurielle up?" I shook my head, grabbing his arm to stop him. "I'll go downstairs and play with them." I tried to smile, but the gesture was weak. "Might as well take advantage of the coffee, right?"

My sons frowned. "Momma, don't overdo things." Grayson warned me. "We don't need a repeat of last month. Dad would kill us."

I winced. It pained me to realize that my body had become so frail, I couldn't properly raise my own children anymore without worrying about self injury.

"I'll be fine." I glanced down at Honor, who was still snuggled deep into my chest. I kissed the top of his head and gave Wednesday a pleading look.

"He needs the night off." My oldest son sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll pick up the slack, don't worry about it, Ma."

I released the breath I had been holding, rolling out from under my son so that he could rest.

Grayson and Wednesday both helped me down the stairs to the main living area, where Aurielle was coloring on the floor next to his sleeping younger brother.

I sat down on the couch beside them, and Aurielle grinned. "Momma!" He jumped up into my arms, and I managed a genuine smile despite the ache in my muscles.

"Hi, baby boy." I gave him a butterfly kiss, and he giggled.

When he went back to coloring, I gently shook his younger brother awake.

The two year old whined, and I rubbed his back to soothe him. "Kamryn, sweetheart, you've napped long enough." I hoisted him up with a huff, smiling when I felt his warm body curl up around mine.

"We've got to go, Ma." I turned and nodded towards my two oldest boys. Guilt kept gnawing at my stomach, telling me that I should be the one going out to that bar tonight, not them.

Perhaps it was just the coffee talking, but I had a bad feeling about tonight.

To be continued...

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