The Foster Kid (Part 10) (A Foster The People Fan Fiction)

Long Distance Calls

            I barely survived through two years of being fine on the outside and dying on the inside. I went through two years without being in one room with Andy. I barely talked with him. I haven’t, actually. I haven’t talked to Andy ever since that fight we had. I still talk with Riley and Stella, though. I’m not really sure if one of them ever found out that Andy smoked weed. I don’t know how he managed to get it and I don’t want to know. I just want to forget about it, pretend that it never happened. But apparently, it’s completely impossible. There’s no way I could forget that day. All those words that I never thought would come across his mind just toppled right out of his mouth. With the addition of the state he was in, of course. I definitely remember him being high. Red eyed and hollowed cheeks, that asshole could barely walk in a straight line. After I kicked him out, I was slightly expecting a call from Toby saying that my big brother just got arrested with weed possession. But that didn’t happen, he slipped away and managed to fly back to London out of the radar.

            The most difficult part in surviving those two years is keeping my mouth shut and my mind on lock down. I made myself swear that the guys, or even AJ, not know about this. If they did, I would be sitting in Andy’s house watching the guys hosing him with water from a fire hydrant or a fire truck. And then I’ll get in deeper trouble for telling the guys about the weed. So in order to prevent all that complication from happening, I decided to let it go drift itself away. I know that it’s not the best thing to do, but I don’t know what actually is the best. I wish you never existed! His words kept repeating itself in my head at the worst times and it’s driving me ultimately crazy. Do you know how hard it is to restrain from freaking out in front of them? When Ryan has a shift at night, I use that opportunity to cry myself to sleep or to freak out, pretty much. I want my big brother back, but I’m scared of him now. Scared if whatever he said was really true. Scared if he wasn’t done with saying those things. Scared about the fact that he made all those promises with crossed fingers. I wonder what has been contaminating his mind ever since I kicked him out up to this second.

            I’ll admit that I never dialed London, it’s always them who dials me. In this case, Stella dials me pretty often. She quickly learned that the speed dial to Ally in LA is eight in the house phone. I’d listen to her talk about her day at school and how her day went. She’s six now and just started school. Can you believe that? My little Stella just started grade school. I’d tell her about how my day went and sometimes I’d ask how her daddy was doing. Thankfully, she didn’t notice any changes in his behavior and the fact that I haven’t talked to him in two years. Same goes to Riley as well. I wonder what Andy did by then. How did he manage to adapt that quick? I haven’t heard Riley and Stella complain about anything, or maybe they’re keeping something from me. In order to limit all these paranoid and worried feelings, I started to construct a gigantic wall bordering North America with Europe. It’s like the Great Wall of China multiplied by a thousand. I guess I’m doing a good job in painfully keeping this inside because everyone didn’t suspect a thing. But one day, I know that it’s all going to build up and turn into a tsunami, destroying whatever it was that’s on its way. In this case, the fake happiness that I’m feeling. I am happy, but not until the inside. I still have one thing to worry about and I honestly don’t know how to fix it.

            This one day, Stella called in the middle of the night. Of course she would, she doesn’t know that time zones exist. If it’s noon in London, then it’s noon on other parts of the world. I forgive her. It feels good to be able to hear her voice anyways. She’s still so innocent and isn’t aware of what pain is. Just like me when I was her age. She talks like everything is alright, no matter what I was feeling. That self centered chubby little adorable kid. “HHHHIIIIII!” Her deafening scream blasted through the speakers of my phone,