The Foster Kid (Part 10) (A Foster The People Fan Fiction)

Back Seat Talking

I was just sitting in the back seat with my legs up on the driver’s seat. I hate it when the sky is too bright because of light pollution. I wished I could just go for a drive to somewhere dark, get lost, and get adopted by wolves. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I believe that this one was the worst and it’s irreversible. I wished I could go back in time- way back. Back before mom died. Back before I moved to LA. Back before I met AJ. Back before I met Ryan. Back before I met the guys. Back before Andy attempted suicide. Back before dad died. Back when all I thought about was how cool elephants are and how bright the stars were at night.

            My head was a chaotic disaster. Everyone was mentally yelling at me. I might be going crazy. Even my parents were yelling. I couldn’t understand what they were yelling about. They were just yelling. My head was filled with voices that came out of nowhere. I felt myself going deaf, but there were no actual sounds. Right at that moment, I realized what Andy felt the moment he was clutching on to that knife about twenty years ago. I could feel myself being strangled, even though there was nothing around me. I wish I could stuff the exhaust pipe and let the carbon monoxide slowly end it all for me. Let it suffocate me to an end.

            I felt like banging my head on the dashboard until numbness takes over. Every bang for every problem I have created and every person I have hurt. Maybe I am a self centered tyke after all. Maybe people would be a lot happier if I don’t exist. I have been blinded with all the good crap that people tell me. I feel manipulated. On the other hand, the other side of me believes that I make a lot of people happy too. That just made me even more lost and confused. That fragile little thing between my lungs was crying in pain. It’s been overworked way off its limit. I don’t think that it could hold any longer.

            There was a knock on the window, “Hey, open up.”

            I knew that it was Cubbie. Little did he know that the doors were actually unlocked, but I locked it instead.

            His face dropped as he heard the click, “Let’s just talk.”

            “Go home, Jacob. It’s late.”

            “Unlock the door, will you? Let’s straighten things out.”

            “Leave me alone…”

            He knew something that I forgot about. I forgot that the sunroof was wide opened. He climbed the hood and entered through the top. God, I’m such an idiot. He sat on the thing between the driver and the passenger seat, directly facing me. “Why are you letting yourself get torn apart by your past?”

            “Why do you care? We have nothing in terms of relation.”

            “Are you sure about that? The band’s fan base thinks we adopted you.”

            “That’s called gossip, which is an unconstrained reports about other people involving details that aren’t true. Tell me something that I don’t know.”

            “Okay. Do you know that it’s starting to become obvious?”

            I rolled my eyes and scowled, “What?”

            “This.” He gestured at me from head to toe, “The new and depressed Ally.”

            “Wow. I guess you’ve never encountered with this part of me before.”

            “I’ve had some close encounters before. This time, it’s all out and happening. Do you see what you get from keeping something inside for two years?”