Chapter Twenty-Three: Slight Complications

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     “So your mom doesn't mind, right?”

     “As long as we don't have sex, no, she doesn't. Well, not really...”

     “Andrew!” Desiree says. “Don't have such a dirty mind!”

     “I'm not,” I say. “My mom's like that. I have no idea why she likes to scold us on these things. Vastly annoying.”

     “Vastly amusing,” Desiree says. “Amusing and annoying.”

     “Right. How are your cousins?” I ask, thinking about Winter's journal—the entry about her cousins. What were their names again? Kat and Lina?

     “They're...alright. A year younger than me,” Desiree says.

     “Cool,” I say, “will...they try to hit on me?”

     Desiree sizes me up and then thinks about it for a while. “Maybe. Actually, yes, definitely.”

     I groan. I'm not very arrogant or am an egoistic maniac. So this isn't really fishing for compliments. Sure, in the first few years of high school, I loved it when girls swooned over me. But now...? I find it quite disturbing. Especially after that message online—the one with some called: AMYFOREVA. And some other girl too.

     I hope I don't find more of those... Seriously disturbing...

     “I thought a lot of guys liked being noticed,” Desiree says.

     “Too much attention. It's not always good. I don't want a stalker in my life.”

     “It reminds me of Health class,” Desiree says.

     “How so?”

     “You know, healthy and unhealthy relationships... And... Putting a con—”

     I know what's going to come next so I cut her off. “Desiree! I thought I was the one who had a dirty mind! I'm the guy after all.”

     Desiree blushes. “I know! But I'm just saying—”

     “That you want to put it on me?”

     “Andrew!” Desiree cries and hits me in the arm. It doesn't hurt, of course. “You are so dirty!”

     “We don't need it,” I declare. “Because we want to have a child.”

     Desiree is almost speechless. She shakes her head. “You are definitely thinking very dirty thoughts,” she says. “I don't even know what's going on inside your head.”

     “Oh sure,” I say, “you secretly do. You want to know exactly how I'm going to do you—”

     Desiree covers her ears. “I can't hear anything! La, la, la! I can't hear you!”

     I don't want to continue saying my thoughts exactly so I don't. If I did, Desiree and I would be in a screaming match on the streets. In public. She'd be trying to block my voice out while I talk about things that she definitely doesn't want to pollute her brain.

     “You're done?” she asks as she removes her hands from her ears.

     “I can always tell you tonight.”

     “I'll record it and show it to your mother. We'll see what she has to say about that.”

     “Sure you will,” I say. “My mother will do all she can to split us apart. And then she'll wash my mouth with soap. Then she'll give me a lecture on 'mature content' as if I'm only eight instead of eighteen. You love me too much to do that to me.”

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