Game Theory × NH

053 | iodine

× Mercury

The kitchen was alive with delicious smells - a turkey two sizes bigger than my head was roasting in the oven, every side dish imaginable scattered the island from all the salads (potato, pasta, crab, even the simple romaine with cut up tomatoes and cucumbers) to green bean casserole, glazed carrots, corn bread, cranberries, and every kind of potato conceivable from mashed, sweet, baked, and scalloped.

Grandma and I got up early to make the pies - coconut custard, deep-dish strawberry rhubarb, pumpkin, and chocolate pecan. They currently sit atop each other in the fridge, waiting to be eaten once everything else was dug into.

Thanksgiving in Grandma's household was always like an Olympic event that lasted the whole day that gave our stomachs a workout.

"Hey, hand me a knife," Anders said from the dining room table.

"Yeah, like I'm going to give you a knife," I laughed and continued to cup up the carrots. "Do you not remember what happened during Christmas break six years ago?"

Anders stood up defensively. "I still have my fingers!"

"Yeah, but the neighborhood cat will never be the same again."

I had spent the last three days on autopilot - too excited to see Grandma and my friends again to pay much attention to what was going on around me. I went to my classes and I took the notes, I went to soccer practice and did all the drills. But it was all a blur because I had more important things on my mine. Anders and I had left London yesterday and had gotten to Grandma's house pretty late Wednesday night. After the hugs and the "I'm so glad to see you's", the two of us went straight to bed, the long flight kicking us in the butt.

I cleared my throat. "So, uh..." I started, suddenly feeling awkward. "Why didn't you tell me you were bisexual?"

"I didn't tell you because it's a relatively new thing I discovered," he explained, taking a seat at the island counter in front of me. "And because it's not something I want to share over the phone or through email."

I just nodded. I wanted to know more, but I also didn't want to push him away. Before the air force, the two of us had been close. We shared everything with each other. Okay, maybe not everything, but the stuff that was totally acceptable to share with a sibling. But now that he had been gone for five years with little visits and contact, things had changed.

"One Friday night, we had all gone to a local bar and gotten pretty drunk," Anders said. "Long story short, I ended up sleeping with a girl named Arial. We had gone through training together so we were pretty close. I was surprised that it didn't happen sooner, if I'm being honest."

"Anders, you don't have to tell me this," I assured him.

"I know. But I also know that you're dying to know the story," he added, an eloquent smile on his lips.

When we were still living under the same roof, he could always see right through me. Knew when I was lying or feeling ill before I could even say anything. Knowing that he could see right through me after all this time sent comfort through my bones. And also uneasiness. If he could tell I wanted to know the story... what else had he figured out?

"I also had a good friend in the force. His name was Tommy," Anders continued. "A few weeks after the night I slept with Arial, Tommy was transported to a different country. I had warning, but that didn't stop the ache in my chest when he actually packed his things and left. I didn't sleep at all that night. My roommate had woken up and saw how messed up I was and we ended up talking. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me."