Game Theory × NH

081 | thallium

× Horan

Sport was a free weekly sports magazine created in London with a wide range of covers and events such as football, rugby, tennis, and cricket. Every issue gives an exclusive interview with various sports personalities. Sport covers were primarily aimed at males, but today they were making an exception.

The team and I were in jeans and our jerseys sitting in a group and facing an expensive camera. High-tech lighting and white back drops surrounded us, making everything artificial and scintillating. People milled around behind the camera, making sure everything was in order; adjusting the lights, fixing the reflectors, making sure the settings on the camera were to the photographer's liking.

Naturally, Lynn and I sat in the front next to each other. Despite everything going on around her, she seemed to put all her concentration on the floor between her feet.

The group pictures didn't take very long, but that didn't mean I was spared being blinded by all the flashes.

The photographer told us that we could take a break and I didn't hesitate to go around the corner and check out the food table.

"So, have you told Lynn that you love her yet?" Jace blurted, walking up beside me.

I nearly dropped the doughnut in my hand from how blunt he was. "Hey," I warned, looking around quickly to see if anyone was around to hear us. "Keep it down."

"No one's here," he assured me. "So did you?"

He had gotten over the flu, but he still looked sickly. His hair wasn't styled like it usually was and his skin looked pale and slightly clammy. The photographer had noticed his appearance and made sure to stick him in the back of the group photo. I had to admit that I was jealous of that. I was tired of being the center of attention all the time.

"First of all, I don't love her. There is a huge difference between being in love with someone and loving someone." I explained. "And second, no I did not."

"Yeah, you'd think love and hate were two different things, too, and yet you and Lynn seem to make the line thinner and thinner. Why haven't you told her? I thought you were going to on New Year's Eve?"

I took an angry bite out of my doughnut. "I was, but then... things happened."

"What kind of things?"

"Harry."

It didn't matter what I said after that. Whatever Harry might have done to steer me off my path was irrelevant to Jace. The point was: he was there. He was there and ruined everything, like he always seemed to do. Granted, I wasn't exactly someone who was proud of what I did because of him. So I guess I didn't have anywhere to talk.

"So what's stopping you now?" Jace pressed.

"Fear," I stated simply. "And the forbidden. I can't just fucking tell Lynn that I'm in love with her; there are so many possibilities that could go wrong because of that. Do you know what I did last night? I went on my laptop and actually Googled 'how to unlove someone'. How pathetic is that?"

"What did you find?"

I thought about all the articles I read, all the hopeless antidotes and useless formulas that literally didn't mean shit.

"Over 275,000 results," I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I only found that whatever people are writing about obviously doesn't work and I'm just not smart enough to figure it out on my own."