Game Theory × NH

106 | seaborgium

× Mercury

Who knew a little plastic stick would ruin my life forever.

My period was over a week late, but I didn't think much of it because ever since getting on the pill, it had been sporadic and sometimes didn't even come at all. But it wasn't until I woke up two mornings ago to throw up in the garbage bin did a funny taste develop in my mouth, and it wasn't because of the vomit.

And ever since those two things coincided, it was like any other thought was illogical.

I scrutinize every single part of my anatomy for signs of pregnancy. I had felt my boobs and wondered if there was a difference between pregnancy and period soreness. I looked at my body in a mirror before I showered and stuck out my stomach just to see if it was something I could get used to. I had pushed gently against my abdomen and speculated if I felt an organ or a fetus. I knew that there was no way I'd be able to feel the pregnancy at that point, but I decided that I could anyways.

I was going out of my mind. I couldn't be pregnant. I hated babies!

But the morning I threw up, I had dug through the bottom of Chloe's dresser drawer and took out a pregnancy test, putting my future on a plastic stick.

Positive.

I could put up with a lot, but there's nothing more terrifying than your whole future crashing down around you in less than an hour. It was unfortunately a feeling I was used to.

It wasn't a puzzle to figure out who the father was. For the past two months, I've only ever been with one person. The only problem was that I wasn't supposed to be with that person. We weren't supposed to be anything but teammates, which was why I didn't tell him that morning. Instead, I hid the test in my desk drawer only to take it out two days later and stare at my future in the eyes, or more accurately, at the little plus symbol.

That wasn't the only reason I didn't tell him. In all honestly, it was because I was scared. From the way Bradley reacted to Lucy being pregnant, I didn't think I'd have the heart to watch Niall walk away from me. He had once told me that one of his biggest fears was to knock someone up... well, now here we are.

I couldn't be pregnant. There was too much at stake. I just... couldn't be.

Thinking like a real rationalist I knew I wasn't, I identified that I needed more proof than just one test. So I dug in the plastic bag with the drugstore logo on the front and took out another test, this time in a different brand.

Just as I was sticking the package in the front pocket of my white UCLA sweatshirt, my phone started ringing, making me jump like I was caught doing something wrong. But I guess in a whole, this entire thing was kind of wrong.

I picked up my phone from the nightstand and pressed answer.

"Hey, Jam," I said with an exhausted smile. I wanted to be happy to talk to my friend, but it was really hard to get excited about something with a pregnancy test in my pocket. "What's going on?"

"Everything!" she exclaimed elatedly. "You won't believe what just happened!"

I stepped out of the dorm room and started my walk to the bathroom down the hall. "Just tell me what's going on."

If Jamie picked up on my melancholy mood, she didn't comment. Maybe her own excitement overtook all the negativity away. "Ethan Vendor is going to prison!"

I stopped in my tracks. "What?" I asked, disbelief dripping from my voice. "How? We didn't get any proof when he confessed."

"I did!" Jamie explained. "I knew something was off about Ethan when he came to your door, and when he mentioned you're parents, it was like a gut instincts to record the conversation. So I did. I took my phone to the police when I got back to California and the moment Ethan touched down on US soil again, he was handcuffed and sent to jail for questioning."