{Avenged} My Nightmare {Sevenfold}

The air was chilly and a soft rain was falling. I could feel the weight of my brother's suit jacket settle around my shoulders bringing with it some of his warmth. The slight breeze stirred my long curls and raised the scent of my brother's cologne. Tears filled my eyes once again blurring the scene in front of me. I didn't want it to be real. I had stopped listening to the words being spoken at the head of the casket a long time ago. Just like I had stopped waiting for the lid to pop open and the occupant inside to sit up and yell surprise then chuckle at this off color joke. But that wasn't going to happen. I couldn't believe he was gone. I didn't want to believe it. Ever since Johnny had gotten the call I had been trying to deny it.  But I couldn't deny it any longer. As they began lowering the casket into the ground I felt my legs give out under me. A pair of strong arms wrapped around me holding me up. My sobs became wails as the first of many shovels of dirt hit the casket. I could feel myself being lifted and carried but I didn't care. I buried my head in Matt's shoulder and let out as much of the pain as I could. Jimmy was gone. The only man I had ever loved was gone from my life forever. We would never marry or have a family or do anything else we had planned to do. He was gone and my heart would never be whole again.

I woke at home in my bed. I could hear voices down below which wasn't a total surprise. Johnny had offered to have everyone over after the funeral for what essentially was another chance for people to give their condolences to the family. I should probably make an appearance but I didn't feel like moving. I heard my door slowly open and I summoned the strength to turn my head that direction.

"Oh you're awake." Val said quietly.

I couldn't find the strength to reply so I just stared at her not feeling anything.

"Kathleen?"

"Baby you should let her sleep." came Matt's voice from the hall.

"She's not sleeping Matt."

Matt's tall frame filled the door frame.  I still couldn't feel anything even as he walked towards my bed and knelt beside the bed.

"Kathleen? Can you hear me?"

I dredged up the energy to refocus my eyes on him but speaking just seemed to require more energy than I could gather.

"Kathy sweetie you know this doesn't help. You need to talk to us."

"She's awake?" I heard Syn ask from the hallway.

"Sort of," came Val's reply.

Matt's eyes were staring deep into mine and I could see the worry there but I couldn't deal with it right now. It was taking all my energy just to keep my eyes open. As that thought crossed my mind my eye lids began to droop.

"Is it like last time?" I heard Syn's hushed voice ask nearby.

"No she's not completely catatonic this time. She was moving her eyes but she wouldn't respond verbally."

"So what do we do now?"

"I'm going to tell Johnny. He can call Dr. Steinworth and see what we should do next."

I could hear Matt's footsteps leaving and lighter ones entering the room. Val's I assumed.

"Is this what it was like before?"

"Kind of but after their parents' accident she would only open and close her eyes. She wouldn't acknowledge anyone who was speaking or even that she knew we were speaking or were here. It took us months to bring her back to us. Jimmy never left her side and he was the first one she responded to."

I could hear the pain and sadness in Syn's voice.

Val asking if I could hear them was the last thing I remember before consciousness faded into oblivion.