Chapter 23

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I love you. If you're close to me, I hope you realise I'm trying to say it more. You too, Auntie. I decided to dedicate this entire book to her; the pain, heartache, and sheer reality of death are all perfectly reflected here, each little description a tiny smidge of how I feel inside. A tiny splatter on a ripped canvas...

"Heaven started to adore you,
That's why it wanted you... closer"

- credits to a certain someone

JIMIN'S POV

No more days. Seven days had ticked by, slow and steady knell clanging and resonating deep within the confines of my skull. Eternal nights of lost sleep had carved their indents as purple marks deep below my eyes, each wrinkle absorbing the crimson slivers to create harsh trails against my pale skin. My chest was heavy, each minute slowly adding an invisible but harsh weight, forcing cracks and scars to form over my heart and demeanour. My lips were no longer pushed up into a smile, but were instead dragged down into a frown, pale, cracked lips formed into an upset crescent. Dishevelled hair clung to my surprisingly clean face, but my shoulders hunched over, encased in a dirty hoodie making it seem like I hadn't experienced hygiene in days. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, trying to suspend the vomit that insisted to crawl up my throat, footsteps thumping as a mechanical trail to impending fate.

The sky was grey; some areas kissed by shimmers of light, others bruised at battered, heavy and pregnant with outbursts of rain. I sighed, eyelids heavy and threatening to slip shut, but the constant repeat of his name circulated monotonously in my brain, caused my eyes to sit as half open slits indented into the hollows of my skull. My heart ached with a dull and lifeless beat, sharp pains occasionally shooting into the side of my stomach and ribs, possible due to the lack of food. No tears came, partly because there were none left, or they were laying silently dormant in the ridge of my waterline, ready to drip down my red tinged cheeks.

Without warning, my legs swayed beneath me, my eyesight blurring and head pounding. I felt my body lurch forwards, right leg attempting to push outwards to support my toppling frame, but no reaction occurred. Instead, I felt a strong arm hook around my waist and hoist me away from the floor, causing me to lose my breath and my vision to blur even more, before I was placed on my own two feet. My head lolled back, making soft contact with what I felt was a shoulder, the arm still protectively pinning me against the warm body. I looked up, and my vision had darkened, small specks flickering across what I could see and my eyelids dipped closed, before lazily reopening.

"Jimin?" I could faintly hear a soft voice, definitely not of a female, call out to me. I tilted my head to attempt to get a view of the person behind me, my heart racing when my eyes made contact with a certain feature I could only relate to one person.

Bleach blonde hair.

My heart was caught in my mouth, eyes widening and saliva collecting deep in the crevices of my mouth as my jaw hung open. Deep caramel eyes met my own, pink lips parted and tongue sliding over the flesh, eyebrows knitted in confusion and worry. Again, their voice called out to me, grip tightening, but all I could think of was him and how he was here, holding me. Tears of happiness formed in the corners of my darkening vision, mind hazy and clouded. But they soon became tears of sadness, as I realised the chest I was against wasn't as soft as the one I used to snuggle into - no, this one was built and sturdy, the exposed flesh of their neck pigmented with a soft caramel rather than an unblemished porcelain. My sobs constricted painfully in my throat, lips spreading to let out a pained whine. The person holding my was pushed away by my spasming body, as I stumbled away and sobbed into the palms of my chubby hands.

"Taehyung! What did you do to h- oh Jimin, Jimin it's ok. Jimin, sh, I'm sorry about Taehyung, he's an idiot, what happened? What happened, Jimin?" The black haired boy tried, kneeling down and carefully lifting my hands from my face. I whimpered, eyes glued shut and face contorted into a painful expression.

"H-Hair," I mustered, and the boy sighed, lifting himself up and pulling me in for an embrace, hushing me and rifling with my hair and rubbing soothing circles on my back. His strong body pulled away, and he glanced sideways, eyes meeting with the haunting glass doors of the hospital.

"Jimin... We'll be here for you. We'll help you, I promise. Now, let's go and say goodbye," Jungkook mumbled, eyes stained red as he tried to pull his lips up into a smile, but hands of sorrow and regret pulled and pinned the edged of his mouth down, lips quivering out a sigh. He wiped away the stray tears, intertwining his hands with mine and Taehyung's, leading us into the ghostly silent hospital.

My eyes wandered over familiar cracks and crevices, ditches and dents that littered all over the pale tiles engraved into my memory. I frowned, heart slowly sinking as we approached his room. Tears stung against the irritated shell of my eyeball, and I didn't stop the small stream leak down and paint my cheeks with a thick streak of tears. Hesitantly, Taehyung pushed the door open, the three of us silently stepping inside. Inside my pocket, I fumbled with the box with shaky fingers, cold sweat building on my palms.

Flat line.

Dead.

No more.

No more 'I love you's. All the possible memories - shattered. Deceased and halted from existing anymore.

Min Yoongi, dead.

My legs buckled beneath me, stomach churning and splattering vomit mixed with slivers of crimson against the white tiles. Screams and yells seemed silent compared to the flat line that resounded throughout the entire room. I howled, thrashing and sobbing hysterically. The calls of Jungkook and Taehyung fell on silent ears as my fists pounded into the nearby wall that I had slammed into, shoulder as sore as my throat. The stench of sick stuck inside my nostrils, forcing me to emit an empty gag. Struggling, I wobbled over to Yoongi, fingers slipping over the box, legs collapsing and elbows hitting the edge of the hospital bed, my forehead resting against the metal. I dropped the box on his open lifeless palm.

"I w-wished-d you w-woke up today,

I want-ted to g-get m-married to you."

But death comes to everyone, quicker to some than others. I thought, really hard, that maybe heaven started to adore you, that's why it wanted you - closer. Why did you call me your angel when you were mine?

I'm genuinely sobbing.

- cute-namjoonie ♡

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