Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 13 The Dreamer

“There are no perfect men in this world,

Only perfect intentions.”

- Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves

Burns

 

She doesn’t seem to mind the rain too much. I watch her as she picks up random objects. There’s dirt on her face, but she doesn’t seem to notice. At least she seems more at ease now.
But I’m still concerned. I don’t want her to catch a cold. I don’t want what happened last time to happen again.
There’s a raincoat in one of my bags. It will probably be too big for her but she can still wear it.

She’s in deep thought and doesn’t seem to notice my approach.
When I place the coat over her shoulders she flinches away from the touch, but at least she puts it on.
The rain is picking up now and I should put the protection cap on my camera if I want to keep it dry. I want to take some more pictures before the rain becomes too heavy.

Emma seems completely occupied by the falling rain by now. Does she like the rain?
I wonder if my friends will like her. Scales is a painter, so he and Emma will have something in common. And Core and Ocean have the ability to make anyone feel welcome. I’m sure they’ll be fascinated by the concept of meeting an actual human.

I haven’t really asked her anything yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not studying her. It is a little like studying rocks. It may not seem anything special, but you can learn a lot about something by just observing. I’ll get to actual questions when she’s more comfortable around me.

My stomach growls and I check my watch. I can’t believe how much time has passed already. “Emma,” I call and she looks up. There’s uncertainty in her eyes. “Lunch?” I ask. She gives me a short nod, but doesn’t move. “Well, are you going to let me starve then?” I laugh. She eyes me confused, but then seems to remember she’s carrying the food. She slowly walks over and hands me the backpack. “Wanna sit over there?” I point at the overhang that will provide us with some shelter against the rain.
“Sure,” she says.

We eat in silence with the sound of rain in the background.
“I was thinking,” I say after a while, “we could invite Scales over when we’re back home. He’s a  friend of mine and he’s a painter. You have something in common.” Emma’s head snaps up and she looks at me with a horrified expression. “He’s a really nice guy,” I try to comfort her, “we work on projects together sometimes. I haven’t seen him in a while and I think he might like you.”
She shakes her head at me in a panicked way. I frown, but then a thought occurs to me. “Perhaps you’d prefer some girl talk? I can call Ocean if you like. I should have thought about that. You must be tired of being around a guy all the time.”
Her breath is coming out faster. “No,” she chokes out.
“No?” I ask. I’m confused now. “Should I call Scales instead?”
“I don’t want you to call anyone,” she stutters.
I blink at her. She doesn’t want to meet my friends? “Why not?” I ask.
Her answer surprises me a little. “If you want the Seekers to find me, you might as well just hand me over now instead of prolonging this imprisonment,” she says.
I stare at her. She feels like a prisoner? She can go wherever she wants to. “I’m not keeping you locked up,” I say confused.
Her voice is soft when she answers me and she avoids looking me in the eye. “Prisons come in many forms.” Her eyes hold a sadness that I don’t understand and they are a bit glazed over.
I was right then. “Do I make you feel like a prisoner?” I ask softly. The thought makes me sad. This was never my intention. I just want her to have a place to stay.
She thinks on my question and I wonder at her sadness. She sighs. “No,” she breaths and leans her head on her knees. “Yes.”
Her sorrow makes something turn in my stomach. I do not understand this feeling, but it’s not comfortable. Why do I want this human to stop being sad? No one has ever disliked me before. No one has ever had a reason to. Why is it so different with her? I haven’t hurt her. I’m not saying hurtful things. I’m a Soul, so that is not in my nature. Then what am I doing wrong?
“Do you want to leave?” I ask tentatively. My stomach turns again and I realize I want her to say no. But, if she says yes, I’ll have to let her go. I can’t hold someone with me against their wishes. That would be cruel.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “Where would I go?” she asks me.
I don’t have an answer for that. Where can she go? “Is it so bad? Living with me?” I ask softly.
When she looks at me, I suddenly understand the truth. But that truth confuses me. “You’re scared of me.” She tenses. “Why?” I ask, “what did  I do to make you so afraid?”
Her eyes harden just the smallest bit and the tone of her voice doesn’t hold any kindness. Hostile, my human brain tells me.
“You don’t know?” she asks, “you really don’t understand?!”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. What did I do wrong?”
“Seriously?!” she hisses, “your kind comes to this planet, takes over human bodies and wipes out their being and you find nothing wrong with that?! You killed my kind! And now I’m all alone!”
The words are stuck in my throat. She doesn’t understand that what we did is a good thing. That this world is a better place now. And also.. “I can’t change what I am,” I say, “my kind needs a host body to survive. Without it I would die.”
“That doesn’t give you the right to steal someone else’s life.”
For all the time I’ve been on Earth, I’m still trying to figure out these creatures called human. Of all the creatures in the Universe that we have encountered so far, humans are the most individualistic. The other species were very different. Yes, they were intelligent, but their thoughts mostly revolved around every day life. What they were going to eat, when they were going to sleep. Some creatures were creative, like the Bears. They made beautiful Ice cities. Some creatures even welcomed us.
Though, there was one incident with the See Weeds. Ocean told me about it. And entire field on the North Pole was lost, because the Weeds would rather die than accept us. It was such a tragedy.
But I don’t tell her that. It will only make her angry.
“I’m not trying to steal anyone’s life,” I tell her, “I’m trying to understand it. But it’s harder than I thought and I was hoping you could help me with it.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. I know that is not a nice thing to do, but I have things to say and I want her to hear them. Maybe I’m already more human than I’d like to believe. This planet has a way of changing  who I am.
“Look,” I say, “I know you don’t like me, but I made you a promise. And I don’t break my word. If you want to leave then I won’t stop you, but I would like it if you stayed.”

I’m sure I told her this before, but she didn’t seem to believe me then. “How about it?” I ask, “you help me understand what it’s like to be human and I let you leave whenever you want.”
There are still tears in her eyes and she seems lost somehow. “How do I know you won’t use that knowledge to hunt down more humans?” she asks me.
The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, but I now understand why she might be weary of me. “I won’t. I’m just here to learn.” I tilt my head to the side. “You know… I should be the one afraid of you instead of the other way around.”
She laughs, but it doesn’t sound like she’s happy. “Why is that?” she asks.
I lean forward just the tiniest bit and keep my voice as serious as possible. “Every Soul knows how violent and dangerous humans are.”

She swallows and her eyes widen a little. “That’s not true,” she breaths, “not all humans are like that.”
“Then prove me wrong,” I say, “because… all Souls are kind, like all Spiders are clever and all See Weeds are calm. Stay a while and show me what humans are really like.”
She turns away from me and hides her head in her hands. “Stop,” she whispers, “stop messing with my mind.”
“I’m not,” I say softly. I want to comfort her, but I’m afraid I’ll make things worse again. “Emma?” I whisper, “please don’t be scared. Talk to me. I want to know you. What can I do to make you trust me?”
She glances at me. “I don’t know.”
I nod. “Okay. Then why don’t we try and find out?”
She leans her head back and sighs. There is a tired look in her eyes and I wish I could make her feel better. If she were a Soul I would suggest she’d go and see a Comforter. They usually help new Souls adjust to a new planet, but this is Emma’s planet. She doesn’t need adjusting.
I glance at the sky. The rain has stopped. “Do you know what I like most about this planet?” I ask. She doesn’t look at me, but I know she’s listening. “Every day is different. One day it may rain and the next the sun will shine. I like the change in seasons. The other planets I’ve lived on were beautiful, but didn’t have that much variety. And they’re all unique in their own way. But I’ve never had the privilege of meeting one of the locals.”
She glances at me and I sigh again. “Did anyone ever tell you you talk too much?” she suddenly asks.
I blink confused. “No.”

“Well you do.”
I shrug. “Maybe I talk so much because you talk so little.”
“I don’t like talking,” she says.
“Why is that?” I’m curious now. Maybe I was wrong and she doesn’t keep silent because she dislikes me.
She keeps silent for a long time and plucks some grass which she then pointlessly drops to the ground. For a moment I think she’s not going to answer at all. She takes a deep breath. “Because no one ever listens to me anyway.”
No one listened to her? I find that hard to understand. “I listen,” I tell her, “you can talk to me. With me.” I watch her bite her lip, probably wondering whether or not she’ll believe me.
“I’m not that interesting,” she finally says.
I smile at her amused. “How would you know what I find interesting?”
“You like rocks,” she pointedly says.
“Exactly,” I say, “aren’t you more interesting than rocks?”
She shrugs. “Probably not,” she mutters.
I laugh at that. “Well,” I muse, “we should continue studying rocks then. The rain has stopped and it’s a few more hours till dark.” I crawl to my feet and glance over my shoulder. “Wanna join me? You can make notes.”
And then she smiles. The first genuine smile I’ve seen from her since we met. “Sure.”

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Please listen to the video I put up with this. I though it suited Burns :)