Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 16 The Singer

“Abruptly the poker of memory stirs
the ashes of recollection and uncovers
a forgotten ember, still smoldering
down there, still hot, still glowing
still red as red.”

            - William Manchester

 

Emma

 

I actually enjoyed myself today, even though I was a nervous wreck at the beginning. It’s not like I trust him now, I still think he could be tricking me, but he does have a calming effect. I’m not sure if that’s how all Souls are or if it’s just him. I didn’t feel at ease with the Souls working in the shops, but that might be just because I don’t know them. I mean, I have spent quite some time with Burns. I’m used to having him around. So it’s different with him.

Just like last time, he made sure we were back inside before dark. Even if he has ulterior motives, I’m still grateful for that.
Now I’m staring at myself in the mirror in my room, trying on my new clothes. My room. The concept is still strange to me and I’m surprised at how easily I accepted it. My room. My bed. My mirror. My house. But not home. Home is not a place for me, but a time. When life was still as it is supposed to be. A time where I went shopping with my friends. I smile at the memory. And afterwards we would have ice cream across the park. I wonder if the shop still exists.

There’s a knock on the door and Burns peeks around it. I meet his eyes in the mirror and try to discover the silver behind it, but in the light of the room it’s not visible. He could pass for a  human any day if only he wasn’t so clueless.
“Nice,” he says when he sees my new clothes and he walks further into the room.
I give him a vague smile.
“Don’t you feel better now?” he says, “with new clothes?”
“I guess,” I answer. My mom would have a heart attack if she saw me in these nameless jeans, but I couldn’t care less. They’re dry and warm and comfortable and they don’t have rips in them like the ones I wore before. “Thanks,” I say again.
That’s the second time I’ve thanked him now. Not really how I imagined things to be. I mean, his kind practically destroyed my kind.
But I am grateful and I suddenly realize I’ve never really felt that way before. Of course I’ve said thank you in the past. I’ve thanked my parents and my friends when they bought me presents. I’ve thanked Sara for making me meals. But those are automatic responses. I’ve always taken things for granted.

This time it’s different.
“You’re welcome,” Burns smiles warmly. He takes a deep breath. “When you wake up tomorrow, don’t worry when I’m not there. I have an appointment. But I should be back around noon.”
“Oh… okay.” I fight the upcoming ping of disappointment. Wait. That can’t be right. Why should I feel disappointed? Unease is more like it. Yes. That must be it.
A mischievous glint is in his eyes. “You shouldn’t even notice my absence. You like to sleep in, isn’t that right?” There’s a teasing tone to his voice, reminding me of someone else, but I shake off the thought.
“So?” I try to keep my voice casual, “I can sleep if I want to.”
“Of course you can. I’m just telling you so you don’t get scared when I’m not there.”
I open my mouth for some smart retort, but snap it shut when I see his innocent smile. “Not taking the bite,” I growl.

He chuckles. “Good night, Emma.”
I have to touch my face to make sure the smile I see on my reflection is really there.
It is.

***

For the first time in days, I wake up in silence. It’s funny how quickly you get used to situations. Like I’m used to waking up to Burns making breakfast in the kitchen.
But when I get downstairs I’m alone. Just as he said. There’s a note on the table reminding me he’ll be back by noon and that I can take whatever food I want. Things feel so normal.
When the phone rings, I pick up without giving it much thought. As soon as the ‘hello’ leaves my lips I want to smack myself.
“Uh… hi,” a make voice says in the other side, “I think I called the wrong number. I was looking for my friend Burns.”
My breath stocks for a moment. How could I have been so stupid? How easy I grew comfortable here. How could I forget this world is no longer mine.