Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 123 The Compass

Where there is life, there is hope
I beg to assert... that as long as a man's heart beats,
As long as a man's flesh quivers,
I do not allow that a being gifted with thought and will
can allow himself to despair.

-Journey to the Center of the Earth

Emma

Nate keeps me busy. He's trying very hard to keep me distracted, but he can't stop my mind from worrying about Burns.

It's been three days.

"Emma, what about this?" Finn sits down on the chair next to mine and shoves a drawing in my line of vision. On it is a long snake shaped figure, floating on round circles. The snake is yellow and purple, small wings sprout from its back.

"Almost," I say, "Dragons don't have wings though."

Finn crosses his arms and pouts. "They do too! I saw pictures in Sophie's books."

"Those are human dragons," I say, "real Dragons don't look like that. Their body is more like jelly."

"That's right," another voice agrees with me. I look up when a cup of tea is placed in front of me and Holden appears in my line of vision. He gives me a hesitant smile and sits down across from me. "The air on that planet is much thicker too, so it's almost like they're gliding through a thick pudding. It's more swimming than flying."

Finn stares at him a moment before leaving the table. He returns to his former seat, two tables over, and grabs another sheet of paper.

I turn my eyes to Holden again. "So, the Soul that wore your body was a Dragon too?" I ask.

His eyes narrow slightly and he gives a stiff nod. "Yellow Cloud," he mutters. It is silent for a while and I wonder what he wants since he's made it clear he's uncomfortable with me. "I have dreams sometimes," he says, "I mean... dreams that are not my own. They're... that creature's. I was just wondering... is that normal... do you..."

Now it's my turn to look away. Sky didn't have my body for long compared to him, but we were much more aware of each other from what I have gathered.

She liked it on her old planet. Her tumbles were admired by all who knew her. She liked it so much she stayed for three lifetimes.

And then she came here.

I remember details of the Dragon World. Some days I find myself surprised, looking for landmarks or objects that don't belong on Earth and I should have no knowledge of. The taste of jelly pudding makes me sick, even now.

"Yes," I say, "I dream about it too sometimes."

"I just don't get it," Holden says and I sigh. Here we go again. "You were being controlled by one of those creatures too, yet you're...involved with one. How can you stand it?"

"They're called Souls," I say pointedly.

"I know," Holden says stiffly.

Another silence. Then...

"The others told me the story. You made that creature go find that one, Burns. How? Why? Why would you want to? How could you fall in love with something like that?"

I sigh. I'm not even sure myself and I don't know how to explain it. I've tried before, but it's like explaining to Finn what a Dragon looks like.

Frustratingly impossible.

"I didn't want to be forgotten," I say, "I wanted to be remembered. Burns was the only one left that knew I had existed. I needed someone to remember." My finger traces the rim of my glass. "I don't even think I liked him much back then. I certainly didn't trust him. I just wanted to confirm my existence. Rub it in his face that I was gone."