Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 124 The Better Half of Me

"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind at all," I said, "it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you."

-The Witches

Burns

Life was so much easier when I was a Bear. We built cities out of ice, one even more beautiful than the other. There were ice plains to explore, and the only things we had to worry about was Claw Beasts.

Fire World had its own challenges, but the Fire Tasters were on top of the food chain there. It was an easy life, bathing in the lava fields, inhaling the sweet incense of Walking Flowers, covering our skin in ashes to both keep the parasites at bay and camouflage our presence.

Earth is different. It has a way of changing you. Such a strange world. And yet, somehow, it outshines the others.

Arashi is quiet the entire drive home. He's always quiet, but this time I feel like he's giving me my privacy. Nate made a good choice, suggesting I take him with me, even though we haven't socialized much. He doesn't joke or try to distract me. Instead he keeps focused and leaves me to my thoughts.

I stare out of the window at the people roaming the streets. On the outside they look every part human. Only they're not. We are not. Sometimes I forget I am one of them. We are just as bad as the parasites on a Fire Taster's skin, leeching off other creatures to sustain ourselves.

It's sickening.

I killed someone.

Why is it only now that I can see my kind for what they are?

I killed someone. His name was David and he had a family. Parents, siblings, friends. Now he's gone. Just like the humans that were Rain and Storm and Patt.

What about Ocean and Core and Scales? Who were their hosts before? Are they really gone too?

My best friends.

Killers.

"Stop living in the past." It's the first time Arashi has spoken in hours. I glance at him. His eyes are still on the road and his expression is emotionless, but it was his voice.

I sigh. "We shouldn't have come here."

"But you did," he states, "there is no changing the past. You live in the now."

"I know," I mutter. But knowing it is one thing. Accepting it is something else.

We park the van in its secluded spot. We're home again and something releases in my chest. A few more minutes and I'll see Emma again. Will she be very angry that I left?

Night has already fallen and we use the cover of darkness to rush towards the hide-out. Rachel is the one in the lookout post. She raises an eyebrow when she sees us. "No supplies? What have you been doing?"

Arashi doesn't answer her, but walks past us without a second glance. Rachel rolls her eyes at his departure. "Charming as ever," she mutters and turns to me. "So? Where have you been?"

I sigh. I'm not really in the mood to talk. I'm tired. I've just said goodbye to my best friends, knowing I'll never see them again. They will move on with their lives, moving to new planets I will never see. So much for exploring the universe. I never would have thought I'd abandon a Calling, but I suppose I have a new Calling now; the protection of the remainder of mankind.

Imagine that, me, a Protector.

"Burns?" Rachel asks to draw my attention.

"Where's Emma?" I ask in return.