can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

ii

thing is, mother never knew what really happened between zabdiel and i. she thought we were still friends, that we only stopped seeing each other almost every day. she mistook me trying my best to avoid him at these balls for me being nervous to see him. i never bothered to correct her, i realize now that i really should've.

i never got over him. no matter how hard i tried, no one could compare to him. i want to push him away, to run to my room and never get out, but i missed the feeling of his arms around me.

i could feel his gaze on me, i couldn't help but stare at his eyes. i have always loved his eyes, i could just stare at them all day and wouldn't get tired.

i frowned slightly as i remembered a question i wanted to ask him. "did you know?"

his face softened and he looked away from me. he cleared his throat before speaking up, "i've known for a couple of months now." i tried to move away from him, but his grip around me only tightened. "stop running away from me, please." his voice almost sounded like he was actually begging me, and i almost gave in. i looked around the room, everyone too busy to even care about us. "why do you hate me so much?"

i almost laughed right then and there. is he seriously going to act like nothing happened? i decided to just roll my eyes at him and walk away.

"cora," he hissed and followed me.

"you have no right to call me cora." i shouted at him as i stopped and turned on my heels. "only close friends can call me that." i muttered. he had been walking so close to me that he bumped into me, but he wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me from falling.

i stared up at him, it had been a while since we had been this close. he has always been so good looking, but goddamn he seems to have gotten even hotter in just a couple of months. his lips look so kissable. god, i want to— wait what? i softly shake my head before noticing his eyes aren't looking at mine, instead towards my lips.

"cor, where the hell are you?" we heard a male voice approach us.

zabdiel comes back to reality, frowning as i pushed him away from me and straightened my dress.

my best friend, sebastian, appears in front of us. "there you are! your mom is— oh." he cuts himself as he looks at my tinted cheeks. "your mom wants to talk to you. i'll leave you two lovebirds alone now."

before any of us can protest, sebastian is out of our view. zabdiel cleared his throat, "you should probably go to your mother." he said and disappeared into the crowd.

i sigh, sebastian reappearing by my side as i'm walking towards mother. "what happened to 'he is such a conceited asshole i hate him so much blah blah'?" he smiled at me. "something i missed?"

"he is a conceited asshole." i huffed and wrapped my arms around myself.

sebastian keeps smiling at me, "i didn't hear the part where you said you still hated him."

as much as i hate to admit it, i don't hate him. i never did. i should, he hurt me and i really should hate him for fucking me up like that. but truth is i was too in love to even think about being mad at him.

maybe i wasn't mad at him, but i was hurt. when he tried to resume our friendship like nothing had happened, it made me hurt even more. he literally went from ignoring my existence to annoying me at every damn moment. i don't even know what happened. did that other girl dump him so he wanted me back? maybe. did he dump her? doubt it. did he realize she only wanted him so she could become queen of lieusaint one day? probably not. she had him wrapped around her finger.

"i do hate him." i murmured softly, hoping to convince sebastian. he eyed me suspiciously, but i refused to meet his gaze.

"sure, whatever you say."

i pressed my lips together, crossing my arms over my chest. sebastian just chuckled at me.

"you look so damn adorable when you don't get your way."

i was so distracted that i bumped into zabdiel. his hands held my hips to steady me for the second time in the night. "you've got to stop being so clumsy, princess." zabdiel chuckles.

i scoffed. "you've got to stop being in my way all the damn time."

he smirked, "not even married yet and you're already complaining about me." he shook his head as he walked away.

there's only one thought in my mind, that smirk will be the death of me.