can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

xxxii

i woke up with a heavy weight around my waist. i looked down to find an arm around me, more specifically christopher's arm. i turned around to face him, being careful not to wake him up. much to my surprise i found him already looking back at me.

"how long have you been awake and when did you even get here?"

he chuckled. "do you think i was going to sleep without my princesses?" i decided to sleep at his place after the funeral. i couldn't stay by myself last night.

"i just didn't hear when you got here."

"you were asleep already." he said and pecked my lips. "what do you want to do today?"

"it's been so long since i last rode my horse."

"are you sure that's a good idea?" he raised an eyebrow.

i nodded. "what could possibly happen?" i saw it in his face that he wanted to resist. i pouted, "please?"

he rolled his eyes. "fine, i'll go get ready."

i grinned. "come wake me up when you're ready."

he scoffed, murmuring something under his breath. he got up and left the room, leaving me alone in the guest room. i couldn't go back to sleep, so i just laid down until i waited for him to come back.

~

christopher was laughing hysterically, he almost fell off his horse.

i rolled my eyes, petting my horse. "i was like five when i named her, leave me alone."

"it's a horse named cow!" he wiped the corners of his eyes as he calmed down. "i definitely needed that laugh."

i rolled my eyes, "she's going to get hurt."

"do you want to know what's my favourite part of this story?" he asked. he didn't even let me analyze the question before he was already answering it. "the part when you just yelled out 'cow!' when you first saw her." he laughed again.

i smiled as i looked at my horse. "don't listen to him girl. he's jealous a five year old didn't name him."

"what would've been my name if five year old you named me?"

i stared at him for a moment. "probably cat."

he looked so offended when i said that. "why cat?"

i shrugged. "besides that it begins with a c, you look like one. now help me back up, we should probably go back."

he helped me get on my horse before we made our way back to the castle. i made my horse stop when i heard a distant noise.

"why are you stopping?" christopher asked, but i shushed him.

"do you hear that?"

"hear what?"

i grunted. "forget it." i turned around to find the source.

"what are you doing? come back!" he followed me.

i got deep into the woods. i couldn't hear the sounds anymore. then my horse started to freak out.

"down, girl." i muttered sweetly to her.

she raised herself up on two feet unexpectedly, my grip slipped and before i knew it i had fallen to the floor. i hit my head, but it didn't hurt much at first. the real pain came when one of her legs came down onto my stomach.

i yelped out in pain and tried to move away from under her, but not before i received another kick to my side. i watched as she galloped away from me. i was unable to move. all i had left was yell and hope that christopher had been following me.

i could hear a horse approaching me, i prayed to god that she wasn't coming back again. suddenly i felt christopher beside me. "it's okay. you're going to be fine." he kept repeating as he kissed the back of my hand. i think he was convincing more himself than me.

i know that i was going to be fine, but i didn't know if the baby would be.

he picked me up and placed me on the horse, so i couldn't be making any effort. he gently led her back to the stables before picking me up again and laying me down on the couch.

"oh my god, what happened?" mother came closer to me as i moaned out in pain.

"she fell off her horse. one of the servants is already fetching the doctor, queen."

"you should've protected her!" she exclaimed and hugged me. "my dear, look at you." i wasn't feeling strong enough to push her away.

"i'm going to be honest with you, your majesty." the doctor said as he pulled my dress up. "i don't think your baby is going to make it."

i didn't bother look at my mother to see her reaction when the doctor said your baby, but i could already imagine it. pure horror would
be etched onto her face as she came up with a thousand different excuses so the people couldn't talk about it.

my eyelids felt heavy. i couldn't stay awake. i was too tired.

"stay with me, babe." i could faintly hear christopher whispering.

i screamed out in pain when the doctor put pressure on the spot where the horse had hit me. christopher grabbed my hand and i couldn't feel any more relieved that he was by my side.

"you've lost too much blood." the doctor shook his head. "the baby is dead."

no. i don't believe it. my baby is okay, we're both going to be fine. he doesn't know what he's saying.

"babe?" christopher grabbed my face and turned me to face him.

the room started to spin around me and i felt lightheaded. i pushed christopher's hands away from me. a sudden wave of pain came over me and i felt his lips on my forehead. i closed my eyes since my vision had gotten blurry. i felt someone shake me, but before i knew it i fell into a deep sleep.