can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

xlv (epilogue)

my mother peacefully passed away in her sleep two nights after the doctor told me to say my goodbyes. sebastian and vianney arrived as soon as they got christopher's letter, but even with all their support i couldn't wrap my head around the fact that neither of my parents were around anymore.

sebastian barely let me out of his sight. i had to let christopher handle the whole funeral preparations, and i asked for my coronation to be postponed until i could feel up to it.

her funeral was very simple. she loved flowers, so i made sure the garden was full of white roses. her acquaintances arrived to pay their respects but then left quickly, only vianney, sebastian, and his parents remained the whole day with me. sebastian's parents took me under their wing, knowing i wasn't ready for what was about to come. being a queen was not easy at all, i learnt that the hard way.

an unexpected, yet very familiar face arrived a little before sundown. i was the first to notice him since i was in the front saying goodbye to god knows who from god knows where. the last time i saw him was five years ago in my wedding.

we didn't say anything. he walked slowly towards me as we stared at each other. he finally got close enough and engulfed me in a tight hug. i didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him to hug him back.

"zabdiel... she's gone. they're both gone."

he hugged me even tighter when my voice cracked. no other words were exchanged between us for a couple of minutes. we finally pulled away, but only enough to look at each other right into the eye.

"i'm here, okay? i'm right here for you." he murmured as he wiped the tears away from my cheeks. i closed my eyes and leaned my cheek into the palm of his hand.

someone cleared their throat from behind me, we turned around to find vianney standing there. "brother! you didn't tell me you were coming."

"i didn't know i was coming." he licked his lips. "can i come in?"

i nodded and bit my lip as i turned to walk towards the garden. both christopher and sebastian looked at me with surprise when they saw zabdiel and vianney following me close behind. i just shrugged and stayed quiet.

christopher wrapped an arm around my waist, no doubt to make it clear to zabdiel that i wasn't his anymore. part of me liked his possessiveness, but it was not the time.

after a couple of hours we decided it was time to put an end to the day, so we walked into the castle where a maid was waiting for us with warm tea. i smiled and thanked her as i grabbed one and made my way to the couch. i stared down at my cup of tea as the others made conversation with each other. i just didn't feel like being part of it.

i felt a hand on my shoulder, i looked up to see it was zabdiel. he offered me a smile as he took my tea from my hands and placed it on the small table in front of us.

"i'm not a fan of tea, but i'm pretty sure you're not supposed to stare at it until it somehow drinks itself."

i cracked a smile at that. "thank you, i certainly didn't know that."

he placed his hand over his chest. "i'm glad i could serve my queen."

i bit my lip. my queen. i couldn't stop repeating it over and over in my head. he smiled at me once again and turned to be part of the conversation around us. i blinked as i looked around me, forgetting for a second that we weren't alone at all.

when it was time to go to bed, zabdiel insisted that he had to go to his own country. despite vianney and i's protests, he was focused on leaving.

i waited until everyone said goodbye and left us alone in the front door so i could grab his hands and intertwine our fingers.

"don't be a stranger. it's already been hard enough that i didn't know anything about you for five years." i took a deep breath. "i miss you, zabdiel."

he pressed his lips together before shaking his head. "i'm not going anywhere. not this time."

i smiled and wrapped my arms around him. he chuckled and hugged me back. he rubbed my back and left a kiss on my forehead before he stepped away from me. i looked around me, making sure there was nobody, before i pulled him back towards me and pressed my lips against his.

he was surprised by my actions, considering it all happened in less than a second. i felt him hesitate, i was about to pull away, but then he held my hips to pull me close to him as he kissed me back. we quickly pulled away and stepped away from each other.

"goodbye, rose."

i sighed as i raised my hand up to my lips, already missing the feeling of his. "goodbye, zabdiel."

our goodbyes were filled with emotion, as if we thought we wouldn't actually see each other again. little did we know, how wrong we were... how fucking wrong.

the end
wow guys, we finally made it to the end
it's been such a wild ride, i gave up on writing this book at one point, 
but i'm glad i got around to finish it

before you ask, yes there will be a sequel
it's already on my profile it's called my baby
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT DON'T HESITATE TO CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES IM SURE YOU WILL LOVE THEM