can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

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it's been three days since my birthday. i've been trying my best to avoid zabdiel. the first day i pretended to feel ill so my mother wouldn't allow any visitors in case he came. he didn't come that day, but he did the next day. that day i left early with sebastian, so one of the maids told me about zabdiel's visit when i came back in the evening. today, i'm going to the village. this will help me have some time alone to think.

"princess rose?" a familiar voice called out. i looked around, finding the little girl that talked to me the last time i came with zabdiel.

with the first real smile on my face since my birthday, i bent down to pick her up. "hey, little one. you're lily, right?"

she stared at me for a while, she probably thought i wouldn't remember her, then she grinned. "happy birthday!"

i laughed and thanked her, her mother approached us and we spoke for a couple of hours.

"would you like to eat dinner with us princess?" lily's mother asked me. i politely accepted her request and we began walking to their home. i could hear the faint sound of a horse, but i shrugged it off. maybe someone from the castle decided to visit the village too.

when we reached their house, much to my surprise, zabdiel was in front of it om his horse. this can't be happening. i'm not ready to face him yet.

lily runs up to him and he hugged her, whispering something in her ear. sorry her mother mouthes to me before bringing lily inside with her, i was left outside with zabdiel.

i pressed my lips together, wanting to do nothing more than start screaming at him. "did you really use lily to get to me?"

he shrugged and smirked at me. "you've been avoiding me."

"how did you find me?" i ignored his statement. i was too proud to admit it.

he just kept smirking at me as he got off his horse. "sebastian told me you were planning on visiting the village to keep avoiding me."

i swear i'm about to slap that smirk off his face. i'm also going to kill sebastian, but that's for another time.

"well, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go inside." i tried to make my way inside, but zabdiel grabbed my waist before i could move. i clenched my teeth, hoping no tears would come out this time.

"you didn't let me tell you how gorgeous you looked in your birthday." he murmured. "god, it was hard to keep my hands to myself. it was so damn hard to keep these images from coming to my mind." he backed me up into a wall and leaned down. "when i saw you, all i could think about was—" he cut himself off for a moment, bringing a hand to the back of my head before he spoke again. "the first time i saw you. you were wearing a dress similar to that one. but back then, the dress didn't hug your curves the way it does now." he groaned to himself.

"people are looking at us." i mumbled, pushing him off of me. truth was, i would stay just like that forever if i was given the chance, but i'm not done overreacting.

but he wouldn't comply. he loosened his grip around me, but it was still tight enough to keep me still. "why have you been avoiding me, princess?"

i refused to look at him. he sighed and completely let go of me. well that was easy enough, or so i thought. when i turned to finally walk inside the house he pulled me back, wrapping his arms tightly around me. my back was pressed up against his chest.

i decided to just give up fighting him, because he would end up making me talk to him one way or another.

"can we talk now?" i reluctantly nodded, but he wasn't so convinced. "do you promise to not run away again when i let go?"

"zabdiel, i'm not a little girl."

he clenched his jaw, but let go of me anyway. i turned to him with my arms crossed over my chest. "you wanted to talk, so talk." he was probably so done with my attitude, but then again he was used to it already.

"what did i do to you?"

"more like what didn't you do." i scoffed, thinking that i spoke low enough so that zabdiel wouldn't hear me, but apparently he did.

he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "rose, just answer me."

oh shit. he called me rose, he never does. he's actually getting pissed.

oh well, he deserves it.

"only if you answer me something." he nodded and gestured me to continue. "what were you doing the day after my birthday?"

he clenched his jaw, staying silent for a moment. "i stayed in my room all day. my parents were out with your mother."

i raise an eyebrow, but i don't pressure him further. "where were you during the ball for my birthday? after you officially proposed you just kind of left me alone, until you found me outside."

he doesn't speak up for a few seconds, for the second time now. "i was just talking to some people. i mainly stayed alone, waiting for your mom to let you out of her grasp."

why doesn't he just tell me he was with her? if he didn't tell me he spoke to her at the ball, then i have my doubts about that he was really doing the next day.

"listen, babygirl, i tried to look for you twice but the maids told me you weren't home."

"twice?" they only told me about one time.

zabdiel nodded, placing his hands on my hips. "the day after your birthday, and then the day after that."

he must be lying now. they would've told me if he came to see me. besides, i was home the day after my birthday. why would the maids tell him otherwise? why not just tell him i was ill?

i'm probably overreacting. you are my mind tells me, but i ignore it.

"now tell me," he rubs his thumbs over my hips. "what did i do to you? why were you avoiding me?" technically, one day we avoided each other, but anyways.

"you weren't alone at the ball."

the zabdiel that had been smirking at me just minutes prior and being a cocky fucker is gone. instead, a zabdiel that seems partly surprised and partly mad takes his place.

"what are you talking about?" he clears his throat and lets his hands drop to his sides.

"you were with her." i glare at him. i swear to holy jesus christ. "my fiancé left me all alone on my birthday to talk to the same damn girl that separated us once and that he claims to regret ever being with." my voice betrays me as it breaks when i speak. now is not the time for crying.

"baby, we just exchanged a few words. we hadn't seen in years. it's not like that."

i frown. "don't call me baby." he tries to reach for me, but i push him away. much to my surprise, he doesn't insist. "i saw you two! just a few words my ass. you spent quite a while with her. flirting your ass off, probably."

i should feel sorry for making zabdiel go pale and his mouth to open and close like a fish. i should, but i don't. he lied right to my face, and now i'm doubting if what he says he did the past two days is true.

"i'll see you later." i mumble before leaving him standing here to walk inside lily's mother's house.