The door slams shut behind me and I fall to the floor. My elbows rest on my knees, hands supporting my head as I look down at the carpet on the floor.
My vision blurring and I feel my heart fall into an endless pit where it would never stop falling but no one is able to catch it either. Then, I feel the first tears fall from my eyes, hitting the carpet floor such that the small area darkens in colour. My nose becomes stuffy and it starts getting hard to breath.
I feel arms wrap around me and look up to see Eugene's kind eyes. He moves the hair out of my face gently and move my head towards his shoulder.
"It's okay to cry," he whispers and I cry on his shoulder, again.
*****
I wake up the next day in Eugene's room with Eugene nowhere in sight. I crawl out of bed to the bathroom and glance into the mirror to see the multiple tear stains on my cheeks.
I wash my face quickly and scurry to my room, thank god no one is there. I remove my makeup, brush my teeth and change out into a new set of clothes. I check my phone and see one message from Josh.
I don't want to see his message but I want to at the same time. My curiosity gets the better of me and I open the message.
Josh: we need to talk
Me: I think it's more of I need to talk to you
I reply furiously.
I go down for breakfast with my phone to see most of the place spotless except for a few bags of trash to the side of the door.
As I walk into the dining room, I see Eugene as well as Ann.
"Well you are up quite early too, aren't you." She says as she places a cup of hot chocolate in front of me.
"What time is it?"
"It's about 10, how was the party last night?"
"It wasn't great," I say with a sad smile and Ann goes off to make me some breakfast.
"Has he said anything?"
"Who?"
"Josh," Eugene says.
"He said that we needed to talk," I say softly.
"Gosh, that bastard," he mutters to himself as he stirshis cup of coffee.
Josh: I was drunk last night
"Was that Josh?" Eugene asks and I nod in reply.
"I'll be outside," he says and walks out of the room with his coffee.
Me: okay
Josh: So you're not mad?
Me: I AM mad
Josh: oh um
Josh: I'll make it up to you
Me: I don't think I want to see your face right now
Josh: I already said sorry
Me: no
I send and put down my phone as Ann places my breakfast on the table.
"Thanks,"
"No problem Camilla," she says and takes Eugene's plate to wash it.
Emily: the party was awesome yesterday
Me: yeah, I guess so
Emily: What do you mean you guess so, it was epic
Me: I saw Josh with another girl, he was with his ex
I told them, not including the bed part
Rose: are you sure?
Emily: WTF
Emily: break up with him
Me: but
Rose: but what?
Me: I don't know ...
Me: I don't want to
Emily: this will not end well
Me: how do you know?
Emily: That's how love stories go
Rose: did he call?
Me: no
Rose: call him
Me: maybe later ...
I reply, truth is, I don't want to call him because I am scared. What if he wants to break up with me or thinks that I'm not good enough? Should I confront him? Will he be mad? I should be mad right now, right?
*****
I haven't been doing much today, mostly just studying and keeping my mind busy so that I'm not thinking about Josh. I have received a video chat request from Rose a few minutes ago but I declined, I needed some time to think. To think about what I'm going to do, whether or not I am going to call Josh and even what on earth is happening to us. Just a few days ago, it looked like we were going on perfectly fine. Why was he with her anyway? I know that he was drunk but why would he do that to her? Was I not good enough? Was I the problem? The questions swirled around my head like a never ending spiral, was I the problem?
I didn't know but something in me told me that it was even though I tried to ignore it.
Then, I get a call from the devil himself, Josh. I contemplate on picking up for a few moments but the ringing soon ends, only to follow with the ringing of another call from Josh. This time, after one ring, I pick up his call.
"What," I say immediately.
"Babe..."
"Don't call me that," I say with disgust.
"Camilla, I can explain."
"Well, what is it?"
"Well..."
"Well?"
"She kind of came at me."
"So you just let her?" I shout into the phone.
"Well..."
"Oh my gosh, I'm just about done with you," I say and let my finger hover over the 'end call' button.
"Wait, hear me out first."
"Okay," I say and all there is on the line is silence except for the sound of his breathing.
"I needed something,"
"And what was that?"
"My temptations were killing me inside so when I couldn't have you when I came and she was available –"
"So it's my fault now?" I question.
"If you had... -"
I end the call, I am not going to listen to his words because there is no way that it is my fault, or was it?
The more I think about it, the more I tell myself that I carry half the blame myself as if we had gone earlier or if I had seen him earlier, it would not have happened. If I had given him everything the previous night, he would not have caved in to his ex. It is my fault.
I text him later,
Me: take me out tomorrow and you will be forgiven
Josh: deal
YOU ARE READING
First Term Love Story
Teen Fiction"Let's play a game." He offers. "Okay, what game?" "It's called, 3 truths and 1 lie." "Oh... How do you play?" I ask. "I'll give you four statements, one...
