Twitter ∞ Dan Howell

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I glanced up at the sky through the hazy train window, my teeth rattling around in my jaw. I looked down at my shoes. I wondered if they were the right shoes for this kind of thing. It had been a long time since I'd been to any zoos.

I was meeting Dan and Phil at their hotel room in the middle of the city, this big fancy one outside another park. Nerves danced around in my stomach. I hated this - this anxiousness. I wish I could tell myself to stop being so stupid but it really wasn't that easy.

I think I was also nervous because of the whole 'generically pretty' thing. I wasn't sure whether to take it as a compliment or not. I had a feeling that Dan had nothing but good intentions, but it still stung a little, especially after last night, with the almost-not-there brushing of calves and ankles. I shook my head as the train shuddered to a stop, the doors sighing with a big exhale as they sprung open. Outside it was uncharacteristically warm - sun beamed down, less bleak than most of the days this week. Wind tugged at the edge of my shirt. The sound of a bike passing rattled past on my left. A group of kids laughed in the distance.

It didn't take long to find Dan and Phil's hotel due to the navigational genius of Google Maps. I stopped in front of the intimidatingly tall building, glancing up. Its shadow loomed, and I looked up at it through pieces of my hair as the wind blew through. I passed through the automatic doors, greeted by an immaculate inside of polished marble floors and fancy-looking lights. If lights could look fancy. 

And standing there fiddling with the edge of my jacket I felt a little nervous about seeing Dan, mostly because of everything earlier this morning. It wasn't a big deal. I knew that. But it still hurt, if only a little. At least he thinks you're pretty, even if it's because you're generic, I thought to myself. I took a seat on one of the couches lining the reception area, feeling a little out of place being the broke university student.

I sat on my phone for a few minutes, scrolling through Facebook, having the odd chuckle at any particularly hilarious memes. After fifteen minutes, I was starting to get a little bored - I looked up, letting a puff of air out through my lips. I glanced around the lobby, catching the receptionist's gaze for a moment. They smiled politely and turned back to their computer.

The lifts opened and the sound of chatter leaked out, and I looked over to see both Dan and Phil walking out, in the middle of a conversation. Phil said something and Dan laughed - that big, full, heavy laugh. He was smiling when he noticed me.

'Hey, potato girl,' he said as they approached me. I smiled, but it was a little stilted - so was the hug. I felt awkward. I could feel Dan looking at me as I turned and hugged Phil.

'So, off to the zoo!' I said overly enthusiastically, and Dan could definitely tell something was up. I felt his eyes on me the whole walk out through the lobby and into the day.

'Coffee first?' Phil offered, and I nodded.

'Sounds like a plan, Stan.'

I was about to head off with them to grab the coffees when Dan said, 'hey, Phil, how about you wait here and call an Uber or something? Meg and I can grab the coffees.' I stiffened.

Phil looked between us, but didn't seem to expect much. 'Alright,' he said, smiling. Dan smiled back before the two of us turned, heading off down the road to a coffee shop a short walk away.

'Hey, about this morning,' Dan gushed as soon as Phil was out of ear-range, 'I'm really sorry. I'm an absolute git. I didn't realise what I was saying until I'd said it.'

I brushed off his apology. 'Dan, it's fine, really,' I said, shaking my head. 'I'm being stupid. Overreacting.'

'I'm still sorry,' Dan said, tucking his hands in his pockets. He had to slow down a little to keep up with me. 'And I was wrong.'