Twitter ∞ Dan Howell

155

I'm not going to lie, I looked great in that dress.

I shifted the way it sat against my hips, turning around in the mirror. Dan came up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my torso. His head nestled in beside my neck, warm breath fanning out next to my face, glimpsing the edge of my cheek. 

'You can see why I like that dress, right?' He murmured, face against mine. 

'Mhm,' I said casually, smiling at him through the mirror. I patted his hands which were wrapped around my waist. 'C'mon. We're going to be late for our reservation.'

I slipped my shoes on, wrapping myself up in my coat as we headed out, Dan closing the door beside me. I shivered. It had been cold in London, but this was freezing. As in, I-can't-feel-any-of-my-appendages kind of cold.

The night was practically shining. The skies were clear after a heavy snowfall yesterday, the moonlight reflecting up off the snow so everything was a muted white in the shadows. The streets had been cleared, so Dan and I walked side-by-side along the pavement, a car shuttling by every now and then, headlights cutting through the darkness in twin beams.

Our hotel was about a fifteen minute walk out of town, which was far away enough for it to feel private, but close enough to feel a part of the town. I looked down at the river as it curled along beside us, choked with ice, almost black in the darkness. 

'This place is beautiful,' I said, glancing around at the ring of mountains against the horizon, tall, snow-capped peaks looming over the sprawled collections of houses and restaurants. 

'It is,' Dan said, and I took his hand. We arrived at the mouth of the town, two big lampposts welcoming us at the front. Others huddled past in big coats and scarves, and one little girl trotted past us in a bright blue parka, a rainbow cap tucked over her head of curls. Dan must have noticed the smile on my face, because he said, 'she's pretty cute.'

'Mn,' I hummed. I shook my head distractedly. 'I'm just being clucky.'

'Clucky?'

'You know. Wanting a lil' bub.' Dan looked a little taken aback, because I laughed. 'Not, like, actually. Just at some point in the future.'

Dan nodded, looking ahead. 'So you want kids then?'

'Yep,' I said, and then I realised we were actually having this conversation. It felt relatively premature to me, seeing as I was only twenty, but I guess it was something most couples talked about, regardless. I swung our arms slightly between us. 'You?'

'Yeah,' he said, eyes somewhere in the distance. 'Two, I think. Maybe three. I'm not too fussed. But I do definitely want kids, one day.'

'You'll make a great dad,' I said, a little quietly. Dan brought my hand up and kissed it as we arrived at the restaurant, smiling warmly at me. 

'Reservation for Howell, at 8:30,' he told the waiter. The waiter checked the list and then sent us a cordial smile, directing us over to a table by the window. It was in the most perfect spot - cropped up on the high part of the town, we looked over the rest of it, all hovering lights and roofs, with the sleek white backdrop of snowy mountains nearby. 

'God, this is incredible,' I told Dan, watching the world beyond the glass. I could see my face slightly in the glass if I focused enough. I'd cut my hair shorter, hovering above my shoulders. Dan's face stared back at me - all fluid lines and soft angles. I turned to face him properly. Out of nowhere, I said, 'are you sure you're fine with me moving in when we get back?'

Dan rolled his eyes. 'Meg, if I wasn't fine with it, I wouldn't have asked. You need to stop worrying.'

I wrung my hands together slightly, twisting my Grandma's ring on my middle finger. 'I know. Really. I'm being stupid. It's just, I'm not paying much rent, and you and Phil have been living together just the two for you for so long, and- ' 

'Do you not want to move in?' Dan interrupted. I stared at him, eyes wide. 

'No, no! Of course I want to move in.' Dan's gaze was critical, confused. I lowered my eyes, my breath coming out long and low. 'I'm such an idiot. Ignore this absolute human mess blubbering in front of you.'

Dan's ankles slid around mine. 'You need to stop being so self-critical,' Dan said, voice low. It felt like it was just us in the entire restaurant. 'And worrying. You worry about everything.'

'Dan, you can't just tell someone who worries to stop worrying. It doesn't work like that.'

'I know, I know,' he said, his jeans warm against my stockings. 'I'm just saying. It sucks, seeing someone you love worrying all the time.'

I froze, my eyes locked on Dan. I was stuck on his last few words. Someone you love. Love. LOVE. He seemed to realise what he'd said, and his eyes widened slightly, his cheeks flushing pink. He swallowed nervously. 'Um, so there's that.'

'That you love me?'

The words felt foreign in my mouth. I'd never told anyone I'd loved them before, at least in a romantic way, and I'd never been told that I have been loved, either. It felt so...grown up. Adult. 

'Uh, yeah,' he said, avoiding my eyes. I nudged his leg with mine, and his eyes lifted. 

'Say it again.'

'What?'

'Say it again. A whole sentence.'

A slight smile prodded the edges of his cheeks, his hair over his forehead. 'I love you, Meg McLean.'

A huge grin was plastered to my face. All sorts of crazy, warm things bubbled up in my gut. I'd never felt this way about a person in my entire life. I never wanted to be apart from him, not ever. I couldn't imagine my life without him. 

I bent across the table, kissing him lightly on the lips. 'I love you too, Dan Howell.'

a/n

so i can't remember if i've given meg a last name before, so here, i gave her one now whoops

also soz for a lack of updating, life has been heccas lately my friends

doing a kind of few epilogue things following Meg and Dan's life in the next little while, so this is the end guys! it feels so weird to say it. i'm feeling super nostalgic.

hah geddit nostalgic like nostalgicturtle my username 

IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE 

xx