direct message from @danisnotonfire
@danisnotonfire: why would i tweet sarcastically about the weather if i liked it
@phanoclock: oh shut up i just haven't used twitter in ages and wanted to tweet something
@phanoclock: fuck i forgot my handle is so cringy
@danisnotonfire: it's not that bad lol
@danisnotonfire: some are like "DaddyDanny" or "GetInMyPhanny" and shit like that
@phanoclock: GET IN MY PHANNY HOLY JESUS I'M CRYING
@phanoclock: PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE TWITTER HANDLES LIKE THAT?
@danisnotonfire: you know you've done something right when the only tweets you get anymore are from phan accounts and from probably-fourteen year olds asking for sex
@phanoclock: jail bait
@phanoclock: actually i have always disliked the idea of 'jail bait' as an excuse to be like 'oh she looked like eighteen'
@danisnotonfire: yeah lol it's pretty stupid
@danisnotonfire: although some of those girls do look a lot older
@phanoclock: yeah but just check her age not that hard
@danisnotonfire: what like just before you're about to shag ask her to pull out some ID?
@phanoclock: okay that does sound stupid
@phanoclock: still
@phanoclock: just as a general rule for anyone famous, don't shag anyone that looks under 21
@danisnotonfire: one of the many Youtube Commandments
@danisnotonfire: also includes 'don't put someone in the thumbnail if they're not in the video'
@phanoclock: lol that happens all the time tho
@danisnotonfire: exactly it's fucking annoying
@danisnotonfire: like if we're not in the video don't put us in?
@phanoclock: mn i agree
@phanoclock: i'm hungry
@danisnotonfire: me too
@danisnotonfire: cheeky nandos?
@phanoclock: oh how i love british slang
@phanoclock: yes let's get a cheeky nandos
@danisnotonfire: which one?
@phanoclock: there's one at king's cross which is close to me
@danisnotonfire: sweet see you there in like twenty?
@phanoclock: yah bye mato
@danisnotonfire: mato potato
@danisnotonfire: i think i've found your new nickname
@phanoclock: oh for fuck's sake
@phanoclock: i'm leaving now and if you greet me with anything REMOTELY related to 'mato potato' i'm whacking you so hard in the balls they recede and never come down again
@danisnotonfire: jesus christ fine see you soon... *whispers mato potato to self*
@phanoclock: get ready to be ball-less daniel
12:32 p.m.
YOU ARE READING
Twitter ∞ Dan Howell
Fanfiction❝ @danisnotonfire is now following you ❞ A story about a girl who stumbles into an internet friendship with a boy on the other side of the world.
