Just a crush

Twenty-Four

Emery's POV

How can this hurt so much? I mean I'm the one who ended things, not him, I almost got him killed, not the other way around. So, why does this hurt so fucking much? I mean it's been a week since I found out, but every photo I see, every kiss that's shared, every hug, every smile. It's like my heart is being torn apart over and over again.

I deserve this though, I mean I did almost get Ricky killed. It's been been almost two months since the break up, I'm starting to feel a little bit better, but I can't help but feel this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Knowing I let something so damn good slip away from me.

"So, you boys have a few interviews today. You also have a photo shoot for a magazine, and a few promoting gigs on a very famous radio station." Our manager tells us as we're all sat down at his office.

"Busy day, but do you know when we're going to get a break?" I ask "yeah, we've been working none stop the past two months!" Ricky says backing me up, " we're exhausted" Liam joins. Our manager sighs and schedules us a day off for tomorrow.

We're on our last interview for today, thank god! "So, Ricky I hear you and Chole are back together? How's everything going?" The host Jimmy asks. "Things are great, couldn't be better!" Ricky says with a bright smile on his face, my heart breaks a little more.

"Emery, you look a little bothered. Is there anything you'd want to say?" Jimmy asks, I guess it's time I do this. Get this weight off my shoulders, "uhm, yes there is. This is something I've been hiding and been ashamed of for a very long time. I guess it's time to just come out" I say and take a deep breath.

I look around the room to see my manager and the boys begging me not to spill the beans; but I see Jimmy pleading for me to continue, so I do. "I'm gay, I have been my whole life!" I say and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Why would you say that?!" Ricky yells and storms off, Liam going after him. Jimmy looks shocked yet still takes in every juicy detail.

The car ride home was no fun, but I've gotten a ton of positive feedback from fans, also some negatives ones; but that's to be expected. Once at the hotel I storm back into my room, tired of the yelling from the label and the boys.

"Why, Emery why would you do this?!" Ricky yells as he storms in behind me. "Because I fucking love you, you idiot!"