P.H.A.T (COMPLETED)

F.I.F.T.E.E.N

"The condom broke, but we kept going." Matthew seemed relaxed about the situation too. Why was everyone not hysterical. "Why the fuck is that okay?"  Nadia sat on the couch in Justin's living room with Matthew. "Who said it was okay? I can't have no baby right now, but what choice do I have Nadia?"

"The job I have right now can provide for all three of us. I make 600 every Friday delivering material for Mr.merchandise -- well, your Dad. So I'm good. I already told Katy I'm finishing up school -- fuck that. I gonna get my diploma, and my degree so my family can be set. I'm gonna provide whenever  I can."

Nadia stared at him in disbelief this had to be a prank right?

"What about us?" Nadia couldn't catch the sentence before it came. Matthew eyed Nadia oddly,"What about us?? We never were an us. I thought we was just having sex." Nadia wanted to strangle him.

"Matthew, you don't feel nothing for me?" Matthew got quiet for a minute as if he was thinking about it. "I don't know. Sometimes I do; like when I see you with Justin, but you know that already." Nadia slumped against the couch in pure astonishment

"Matthew, I really like you." Nadia blurted out. Did she really? She never even thought about it til now.

Matthew smiled. "I've been wanting to hear you say that since I was like 12, but I don't have any way of making that important to me right now. "So I'm not important to you?" Nadia felt the tears building up again. "No, I didn't say that. I just have a lot of shit going on." Matthew reached out wiping her tears with his thumb.

Nadia moved his hand from her face. "Just go. Please." Matthew stood opening his mouth as if anything he could say would make the situation better. "Don't speak, just leave." Matthew bent down kissing her lips tenderly before leaving out the front door.

Nadia shook her head wiping her tears as the sting of his soft lips stayed on her own.

Nadia pulled out her cell-phone as her sobs started. "Grandma?" Nadia wondered as she heard her rustling around. "What's wrong Nadia?" Nadia got up going to her room, locking the door behind her. "You are only person in the world right now that's not judging me." Nadia whispered with certainty as her tears fell silently.

"Everybody has done something. Why should I judge? People forget their own mistake when they hear the bad in some else's life. So who am I to judge? Whats up baby?" Nadia let out a breath telling her everything, the cheating, the lying, and the sex.

Tiffany paused. She was quiet, and Nadia worried that maybe this time she was judging, until she spoke.

"Baby, you're not gonna like what I say, but you need to stop having sex with Matthew. You need to cut those ties off with him NOW -- not tomorrow, not next week -- NOW.  He's obviously on other things. You will only get hurt if you continue with him. You could be his friend, but give yourself space first.

You guys need to set some ground rules for you, and his sake. Also Nadia, I need you to really take a look at yourself. Your to young for all this drama baby. Your about to 18 soon. This ain't the way. You should be enjoying yourself right now."

Nadia had calmed down a bit, but she was still thinkng about Matthew.

"I really like him, Grandma. This is really hard, I really really want to be with him, but than I want to be with Justin too though. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Please help me." Nadia buckled down in her emotions again.

"Hold on baby, I'm headed over there. " Nadia stayed on the phone till Tiffany got to Justin's apartment just fifteen minutes later.

                   "He's not worth going. If Matthew is worth fighting for you would know. You know just as well as I that though he is a sweet kid, he's not right for you, especially at this point in you guy's life.  Nadia laid into her grandmother's arm as they held her tightly. 

  "I remember having the biggest crush on your Grandpa while he was dating my bestfriend.Granpa was fine as hell." Nadia laughed watching as Tiffany's eyes seemed to glaze over at the vivid image in mind. "He was sweet, caring, he knew what to do to make my hair stand on end." Tiffany smiled look down at Nada.

Nadia smiled back. "So, what are you saying, what I'm doing is okay?"

Tiffany shook hear head. "Child, what you are doing is all fucked up. I was never that bold at 18." Nadia laughed outloud. "I'm not saying it's right at all, I'm just saying I was in your situation. I let time handle it. We both grew to find that we were for each other, We broke up SO SO much."

Nadia smiled wishing she would have been there to see all of this happen.

"In the end, we got together though. I got judged so much -- by everybody, but no one knows how you feel, and there are some points in your life where you will have to make a decision that will make you uncomfortable, that you know will get people talking about you, but when you get ready to make a decision that comes with an audience; make sure the time is right, and you are sure about your choice, and if you are still unsure about it, pray."

Nadia listen intently to her grandmother wise words as she talked some sense into her. "You're young right Nadia your time will come, but you should really be focused on yourself. You're to busy trying to grow up to fast, and find love when you don't know what love really is yet."

Nadia chew her bottom lip, "I don't know how to focus on myself." Tiffany stroked her hair. "You'll figure that out on your own. Stop focusing so much on Matthew. That boy is just that, a boy. Leave him alone.

Matthew is like what Mowry was to me, unreachable. He's cute, He seem caring, but Matthew WILL hurt you. He's young, and free. You on the other hand though you have your little outbursts you are still some-what reserved in your heart. I hope you listen to me when I say again; leave Matthew alone."

Nadia's heart the pit of her stomach, she didn't really wanna leave Matthew alone...

                                       Nadia took Tiffany's advice telling Justin that she really just need to just be by herself, and that she was not right for him, especially right now. Justin had also decided to expose himself, by telling her; I love you

What horrible timing... He was upset about the split, but he respected her feelings anyway.

"What you thinking about?" Justin asked, his breath ticklng her ear as he wrapped her up tight. Nadia was sitting outside on the small private patio that the apartment complex provided. She wasn't thinking, just clearing her mind.

"Just cleansing my soul, I guess." Nadia smiled as Justin kissed her cheek. "I love you, I'm going inside."bNadia nodded as his warm embrace left her, leaving her cold once more.

Nadia just knew this was not about to get any easier.

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 I put a life lesson in there for y'all. Please listen to it:) It will help you as you get older.