A Reason To Breathe

Chapter 13

The day went by so fast yet so slow as you stayed still on the floor, staring at the ceiling. You just thought about how many people or monster loved you. It just was so weird and strange that others found you attractive, you thought.

First Eric tried to get you to 'love' that dip shit who obviously had some sort of feelings for you. Then Sans tried to kiss you! After all the mean loner attitude he all of a sudden pops up out of no where.

You where thinking about taking a cigarette on this, but the only cigs you have are from Geno... The way you acted and hurted him bad you want to throw those out. He is already dieing forever and now you made the guy hate you. Geno should get at much happiness as he needs, not another problem to deal with like yourself.

As you lied there with your depression not getting any better from all the emotions, you closed your eyes. Feeling your lungs calmly taking in oxygen into your blood and into your broken heart.

All your thoughts just picked at one question to the next, trying to find one that you can answer. You could care less if it were going to take you all night, you need answers so you can only focus on your fucking mother.

Then it came to mind, it just had too. Why wouldn't it, this is real life you wanted to know.

"Why was I so sad when Geno said,'I thought you were different?" Your eyes just started to water up but you were to tired to wipe them away,"I mean, I am a good person right? I mean I do bad things but... that doesn't make me a bad person does it?"

Your lip started to quiver while your throat felt afaul and as if there was something in it. Chest growing heavy as air struggled to enter your struggling lungs. Limbs began to fell weak but still, you were still to tired to do anything about it.

"I'm not b-bad right..." your jaw shook as if you were out in the cold, it was like you knew longer had control over it anymore."I'm not like a g-g-genocide megalovania m-maniac... right? I'm just brokennn, helplesssss... N-not some kind of murdererer..."

You tried to think of something positive, but nothing was coming. All that was there in your head was pain, so much pain and... HATE. Your mother, Geno, Sans, Eric, the overwhelming fact of everything changing so fast. Nothing seemed to be getting better while that fucking hore of a mother lived... But what if it's not just her. What if part of the problem was you...

The only reason why that little plan or thing or whatever worked was because that was like you. You are the kind of person to do something so low and suicidal.

You have depression, you are a alcoholic, a druggie. But now everyone knows. Monsters and the world of the human race.

The plan of you going any where wouldn't work. Even if you change everything people, your mother, will now that it's still you.

Then as you stared into the dark as you sat up, a thought came to mind. A filthy but perfect thought that you found a bit brilliant.

Looking out the window you forced a happy smile. Standing up, you go out the window and up the fire escape. You didn't stop until you reach the top of the roof to look over to the mountain.

As the wind cooled down your sadden body while your hair flowed out of your face, you felt good inside. Nothing else could be any better than that. MOUNT EBOTT.

"All I would have to do is kill the bitch, make it look like an accident, and 'hide' where all but one human lived."

This was going to be the best bad ass revenge death story anyone was ever going to hear.