Steven Universe Characters X Reader Oneshots

Crystal Gems x Exaggerating!Reader

Welcome to my first ever Steven Universe oneshot! I hope you enjoy it and feel free to request- rules for requesting are in the previous chapter entitled "A/N".

I'd like to warn that heavy swearing occurs occasionally but not throughout the entire chapter- enjoy!

(Y/n) P.O.V

I stared at my most prized and valued possession that my hands had ever latched upon. My pizza. My glorious, single slice of purity and beautiful crust. The thing I worked a whole day's of work for, equivalent to a high chance of me snapping the bones in my back.

It was worth it. Every single piece of treacherous pain was worth my fabulous slice of pizza.

It sat, pleadingly in the paper plate, it looked marvellous. And it was mine to enjoy. Every single bite.

My friends sat beside me, clearly they were so bored out of their super jam packed lives that they had to come over and study my sacred moment with my pizza.

Amethyst, Steven and Garnet sat silently, which to be honest, wasn't the norm for them. Pearl sat cross legged on the floor, probably attempting at what she called "grace". A frown was on her lips as they moved, forming loud and annoying words that I couldn't care less for.

"Are you sure you don't want me to heat that up (Y/n)?" she asked me, "It's been sitting there all day." I glared at her, warning her to back the damn off.

I do not discriminate my pizza, I shall not warm it up and I shall not grab a new one. It is perfect just the way it is and I was sure I was going to eat it then. I could still smell the appetising smell of pizza, the aroma wafting through the air and making me drool like a dog.

"No Pearl, I've worked hard for this beauty and I'm gonna see it to the end – today, we have been through a lot." Steven looked at the pizza.

"Sure looks like one good pizza." He said. I nodded in approval.

"Yes Steven, this pizza is the prize of today's adventure."

"Pft, what adventure? Going to the store?" Amethyst laughed as I sighed. My pizza was going to have to wait a few minutes more.

"You obviously have no clue as to how this pizza came to be mine Amethyst, so before I savour the flavours of this heaven like dish, I shall tell you my encounters today and the journey I had travelled for this delicacy." Steven clapped his hands like a child on sugar before cheering loudly.

"Yay! Story time!" Steven said. Garnet raised her hand with her thumb sticking out like a sore, well, thumb as Amethyst made herself as comfortable as she possibly could. Pearl just rolled her eyes at me in an obvious yet really annoying way of telling that whatever I had to say, was probably not worth it and a waste of her non existing time.

"Ok, let's start at the beginning, the very beginning, the very, very-"

"Okay (Y/n) we get the point now, you may continue." I stared at the source of the voice, glaring at Pearl for interrupting a special moment.

"As I was saying, before Pearl out of character, rudely interrupted me, we have to start at the very, very, very beginning. Now this beginning starts off in one of the most unexpected places- the Big Donut!"

Steven gasped in unexpected surprise before speaking, "No way! The Big Donut?!" I nodded vigorously in response as Amethyst snapped her fingers quickly.

"I knew it!" she called out as Steven turned to face her.

"You did?" He asked in shock.

"It was kinda obvious dude." She smiled playfully as I continued with my tale.

"Well it did start this morning at the Big Donut and at first, I was just gonna go in and out to buy some donuts for my bro Steven here." I ruffled the boy's hair in admiration, "but then I saw it, a single slice of pizza on the counter top, resting in this very paper plate." Steven stroked the rim of the plate in awe.

"Woah! This very one?" He asked, hands on his cheeks. I nodded to confirm his theory.

"The very one." He turned to Garnet in amazement.

"Did you hear that Garnet? It's the very same paper plate! Oh my gosh this is amazing!" His voice turned into a whisper as Garnet revealed another thumbs up.

"Not really." She said monotonously, returning her attention to me and nodding once, indicating in the very intimidating way of hers, that the story should continue.

"Well, Sadie, she came out and saw me eye the precious treat and explained it was originally Lars' but since he slacked off the job again, I could have it, however, it came at a price." Amethyst gasped and started emitting dramatic sounds as Steven desperately questioned the sacrifice I had to pay.

"The price was painful but worthy, I had to take Lars' shift!" Steven groaned in frustration.

"Lars always slacks out... I feel bad for Sadie sometimes- but at least you were there today!" He grinned happily.

"Man what does Sadie see in that guy?" Amethyst asked.

"Love." Garnet responded slowly, "They are good for each other."

"Sorry to cut your conversation short Garnet, but can we continue the story? I still have to finish Steven's laundry you know." Pearl looked unimpressed at me before speaking once more, "please finish this story." She asked me.

"Fine then- because Mama Bird here wants me to hurry I will. I helped Sadie at the Big Donut. Not many customers were there today which was totally cool. Together, we battled dirt monsters and wiped away at the tables and even protected the food from the evil beasts known as flies.

But the adventure wasn't over yet."

"Of course not." I ignored Pearl's idiotic outburst and progressed with the story.

"The journey back here was yet to be made, I took it step at a time, careful for my enemies within the floors. Cracks and rocks were not going to stop me from successfully bringing a hard day's work to the temple to show Steven my achievements of a lifetime."

"Were you successful?" Steven hoped.

"Sure was! And now, here the treasure lays, on this magnificent paper plate before you. I've waited many hours for this moment, then I had to tell this tale so if you do not mind, I will fucking devour this glorious piece of pizza, crumb by crumb, savouring every bite of flavour it can possible provide me, if it's the last fucking thing my physical body will ever do in its miserably stupid joke of a life, right here, right now on the planet Earth."

Pearl's mother instincts kicked in and instantly covered her "baby's" innocent ears from the torturous pain of my words, protecting the youth the boy still carried and the dignity he hadn't yet lost from the countless others who had said the forbidden words before him.

I ignored Pearl's sudden action, much like Garnet and Amethyst who knew that Steven would have known what those horrid words were before I ever let them leave my mouth. The internet was probably responsible, a great teacher if anything. I returned my attention to the cold pizza before me.

The moment was there, it had arrived, the time I would bite into the food of my dreams and eat it whole. Picking up the slice of pizza, I raised it to my waiting mouth, I could feel the build-up of my saliva as I pushed the triangular slice paste my eager lips and took the largest bite my body would ever physically allow me to.

And then I ceremoniously swallowed the food, sighed a content sigh as I crammed the rest of my dish into my mouth, eating it whole. Then the room was silent. No one spoke or moved. No one disrupted the peace of the completed ritual. It was all perfect, just the way Garnet probably foresaw it to be, the way it should be.

Then I threw up all over Pearl.

And my glorious piece of pizza was no more. Just mush and stomach vile from the bottom of my gut that had been chucked up and sprayed unceremoniously, impolitely and ungraciously onto the form of my lucky victim, Pearl, who was no longer graceful and elegant, but squawking like the mom of a bird she was, jumping up and down like a mad woman as the smell of my once most prised possession mixed with the acid of my body and stained her once upon a time, perfectly clean and tidy clothes.