Steven Universe Characters X Reader Oneshots

Lapis x Peridot (Human AU)

"I swear to clod, you have no idea what you're doing." Peridot mumbled, just loud enough for her friend Lapis, to hear. The two girls were at home, like every weekend, attempting at the tasks a daily life pursued.

Lapis, tall and thin, with a messy bob cut of blue dyed hair, wiped a sweaty hand over her shorts, attempting at retaining a strong grip. Being the taller of the two meant that she was the only one cut out for the task of replacing the lightbulb Peridot had accidentally blown up. The girl lazily rolled her blue eyes, clearly unamused at Peridot's criticism. She stopped abruptly, lowering her sore arm and still holding the new light fixture in her right hand, turning to look at Peridot. "Peridot, chill, I know how to fix a damn lightbulb – it's not fuckin' rocket science like the stuff you're used to."

Peridot, incredibly short and to somewhat degree curvy, could only huff and fold her arms impatiently, squinting her eyes in a way of telling her roommate, "I know I'm right but just for the satisfaction, I'll shut up". The short girl averted eye contact, signalling for Lapis to continue with switching the glass, a hand running through her short, messy, blonde hair before dragging itself along her freckled covered face, fixing her askew, green glasses in the process. Her own green eyes rolled as Lapis stepped down from the small stool she borrowed from Peridot.

While she may have been well over a head taller than Peridot, she wasn't exactly tall enough to reach the ceiling on her own, for once appreciating the fact that Peridot owned such device in need for reaching the bathroom sink.

"See Peridot? It wasn't hard. I can actually do shit believe it or not." Lapis looked at her roommate smugly before folding her arms in an "I told you so." manner. She blew her fringe away from her eyes, removing the stool and handing it back to the 20 year old in front of her. Peridot sighed before opening her mouth to speak.

"Honestly Lapis, I struggle to believe you're 25 and you still can't insert a lightbulb correctly, that fixture is sure to fall and land on someone's head!" Lapis looked up at the slightly crooked bulb, shrugging her shoulders to show how much she cared.

"It's only a little lopsided, calm down." Was what Peridot was greeted with, instantly causing her to frown.

"A LITTLE lopsided?! A LITTLE!? Lapis, the coils around the base of the light and the bulb are not aligned! Even if by one, it will allow the glass to slip and fall out at any given moment! Resulting in broken glass if not a bleeding person!" Peridot began to rant on, like she usually did when things never went her way, first addressing the issue and then the factors that could occur from it, before finally concluding with a resolution to the issue. In this case it was very obvious what the answer was: Lapis would have to go and stand on the stool, lift her heavy, tired arms and unscrew the lightbulb before replacing it correctly.

And Lapis wasn't having any of it.

"Remind me why I'm helping you again? It was your hypotest that broke it." She said lamely.

"It's hypothesis, Lapis, and really it shouldn't matter, we both need it to be able to see when the sunlight is no longer available and I'm too short to reach such height even with the assistance of my step stool."

"I ain't needing the light" Lapis exclaimed, pulling out a pair of oddly shaped glasses. "I gotta pair of these babies." Peridot mentally groaned at the sight of her own invention, night vision glasses like Lapis had always wanted, something she recalled about "being able to see shit when going to the bathroom at night." And so Peridot had granted her 23rd birthday wish almost too easily.

The two had known each other for quite a while, Lapis being a somewhat horrible tutor way back when Peridot was still in high school. After the first thirty minutes of listening to the tutor Peridot's parents paid for, she had begun to reorganise her schoolwork, perfecting her pencil case, folders and binders, Lapis seemingly confusing herself for what a "spelling test" and a "math test" was. It was Peridot who had then helped flip the table by offering LAPIS a tutoring lesson. And so it worked the other way round.

But instead of teaching Lapis things to do with numeracy and literacy, Peridot discovered (much to her dismay) that Lapis Lazuli, was a high school dropout who had not gathered her bearings in life and had not succeeded at employment and to top it all off, STILL lived with her parents at age 20. This was Peridot's excuse for the next 3 years to talk to Lapis, training her and teaching her the little of organisation skills her OCD had bestowed her.

And during the so called "short period of time" – because let's face it, three years isn't exactly short, time seemed to fly by faster than imaginable, they became friends.

A wonder nerd and a laid back slackie, both of which managed to balance each other to a certain degree. After those three years, by then Lapis finally getting a job and Peridot becoming an adult, the two decided to move into a house and live as roommates, each paying half the rent every month, on time, thanks to Peridot's organisation skills and Lapis' constant nagging about "becoming hobos on the street together".

Their jobs were significantly different as well. For Lapis, with no degree or major or even a diploma, her jobs were limited to basic household skills; a barista, at the corner café where Peridot and herself first began their "tutoring" sessions. It wasn't an overly crowded place like Starbucks thankfully for Lapis' case, and the money earnt was slightly larger in amount compared to the average pay for a barista.

As for Peridot, it took a little longer for her to find a way to the places she wanted to get to. To become a white-hat hacker was the aim. A little confusing to Lapis at first who thought all Peridot wanted to do with her potential was to own a white hat and become an illegal hacker, it took a good solid 20 minutes to break down the basics of the job and explain that a white-hat hacker wasn't a person who owned a white hat but basically a person who was being paid to hack major companies in order to find their flaws and report them back, allowing the holes to be filled. Either way, Peridot reached her goal and became not only the white-hacker for multiple companies including Microsoft AND Apple, but one of the YOUNGEST as well, a goal truly achieved and so special that Lapis had bought her a cake to celebrate.

It was times like those that Peridot remembered how great a friend Lapis truly was, no matter her faults.

Unfortunately that leads back to where they both were, a broken lightbulb, a frustrated Peridot and a Lapis who couldn't give any fucks.

Peridot sighed before dramatically throwing her hands up into the air and storming out of the room, picking up small bits and pieces from her soda can rocket as she went. "Aright then, just wait until it falls on your head!" She yelled, leaving her roommate. Lapis groaned, knowing Peridot was to stubborn to talk to her until she fixed the issue, already beginning to solve the problem.

"Ok you win." She moaned, knowing all too well that Peridot was probably smirking in satisfaction behind her back.

Truth be told, Peridot was doing the opposite and instead was shaking her head for the hundredth time that day. Lapis was lazy, a well-known fact that she had put up with for far too long. But Peridot returned to help regardless, they were in this together.