Can we try again?

Six.

I wasn't going through with it anymore. I couldn't do it.

I jumped out of the bed. "I can't," I announced, my voice at the verge of tears.

"What?" Tolu snapped, failing to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"I can't do this. I'm very sorry."

And with that, I grabbed my handbag, and ran out of the room. Buchi called after me, but I ignored him. I didn't stop until I got outside. I crouched by the side of his car, buried my head in my hands, and sobbed loudly. I sobbed for my life. I sobbed for the mess I was in. I sobbed for what a coward I was. I'd been so so close, but I couldn't go through with it. I thought I was brave enough, but it turned out I wasn't. My conscience couldn't allow me, as well as the thought of losing my best friend.

"Samira," Buchi called. I looked up to him. "What was that for?"

Clear, watery snot dripped from my nose and I wiped it with my arm.

"I'm so sorry," I sniffed and looked up to him. "I just couldn't do it."

He looked at me and shook his head. "But I thought your mind was already made up before now."

"I thought so too. But as I was on the bed, I realised that I had so much to lose if I do it. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," he spoke after some seconds of silence. He exhaled. "Come on, let's take you home."

He offered his hand and I took it. Then he pulled me up and opened the door for me to go in.

We drove in silence. Buchi would glance at me every once in a while and I would look at him, giving him a half hearted smile to reassure him I was okay. But I was far from okay. Now that my Plan B was off the list, it meant plan A was back in the bid. In fact, it was now my only option.

When would the morning sickness fully kick in? When would the cravings start? When would the  swollen feet become visible and every other attribute associated with pregnancy? When would the bump in my belly become obvious? There was just 3 more weeks of school before we go home. How on earth would I break this news to my family? They would be absolutely devastated, not to talk of disappointed. It was just too much. I palmed away a tear before it managed to run down my cheeks. This wasn't what I planned for at the age of 22. My life was only just starting and now . . .

All these thoughts flooded through my mind as we drove and before I knew it, we were driving through the street that led to my flat. It was past 4 p.m. and I knew Oma would be home already because her lectures on Fridays ended at 2 p.m.

Before I knew it, the car came to a stop in front of the house.

"Thank you so much for everything," I turned to Buchi "I really appreciate."

"You're welcome. Just take it easy. Who knows, maybe you've made the right decision." He gave me an encouraging smile.

"Yeah, I hope so," I managed to smile in return.

"Well since you didn't go through with it," he told me. "I will transfer the money back to your account."

Wow, I thought. What a kind, honest, and caring guy. If I wasn't in such a mess, I certainly would have had my eyes on him. I chided myself for having considered such. That was the least of my concerns at the moment. And by the way who would want a second hand baggage like me, when they could go for a brand new, quality one? My heart sank at the thought.

"Oh no. Don't worry about that. I've caused you and your boys a lot of troubles already. You can keep it, no need for refunds."

He chuckled slightly. "Well, thank you for that then."