Can we try again?

Forty-five

Oma filled me in on everything going on in Jos. She told me how beautiful the city was and how lovely the people were. She also mentioned how cold it could get, especially in the evenings and how she thought about running away the first few weeks because she couldn't bear it and I laughed. It was hard work, she told me, the daily activities, the frustration from the system. Everything. 

But she was having a good time, despite all of that, making new memories.

She also told me about some new people she's met. Chisom, one of them, was from the same village as her and they clicked straight away when they first met. And the other was Priscilla. I had to keep a straight face as she talked, so as not to show any signs of envy. But I was unsuccessful in hiding it and she picked it up. I tried to deny it saying that I was cool with her new friends.

"Pfftt what?" I flapped my hands nonchalantly, "No, I'm not jealous. I'm fine with it, seriously."

But seriously, I wasn't. I was jealous, but I just didn't want her to know.

It then dawned on me that I wasn't doing so well with Oma separated from me. My insecurities were having the best of me. I was having separation anxiety and I needed to work on it ASAP.  

Finally, I confided in her. I told her everything, about my feelings these previous months. And how I'd eventually given myself a self-diagnosis of postnatal depression, based on the symptoms I was showing. I explained to her the feelings of hatred that was building up inside me towards her seeing that she was getting on with her life. Without me.

"Mira," She said softly to me. "You need to know that no matter the number of people I meet, Chisom, Priscilla or anyone else for that matter, no one can be you. None of them is you Samira, my best friend." She gave me an encouraging smile. "I need you to remember that, please. I know I've made the mistake of not reaching out all these while and maybe that's why you feel this way. But I'm telling you, no one can replace you. Ahh! Is it not you again?" She laughed. "We have so many memories together, we've been through so much and nobody can take that away from us or take your spot. Nobody can fit in your shoes." 

Those words instantly put my mind to rest. Although, It wasn't that I didn't know all of these. I knew. I knew Oma was BFF, my ride or die. But I was just at a vulnerable place where I felt really insecure and I needed that reassurance. And yes, I did feel a lot better after hearing Oma's words. My worries melted away like butter in a hot pan.
I was delighted. I had my best friend back.

Jameel became eventually cool with Oma after a while. He didn't run away every time she came close to him. In fact, he even allowed her to carry him and didn't scream. That indeed made aunty Oma very happy. She was making progress in "rebuilding their relationship," according to her.

I also let Oma in on my plans to move out of the house and told her the situation between my dad and I.

"Are you serious?" She shook her head. "Chai is it that bad?"

I shook my head and sighed. "You have no idea. Did I tell you about the time when Jameel was crying and he was there with him, but he didn't even move an inch to carry him? He just sat there watching his TV. And then he was like 'Am I his father or babysitter?' In fact eh, I just tire for the man. That's why I want to carry my wahala and leave him alone."

She shook her head sympathetically. "You know what, I believe in you, Mira. I know you can do it. You just have to keep on working towards that goal."

"Yeah, but I need to do service first na." I said. "Without that, I can't get a job. But then because of Jameel, I can't afford to serve somewhere other than PH."

"Yeah, I understand. Oh, wait!" She sat up quickly. It was a light bulb moment for her. "Buchi."

"Yes?" That immediately piqued my interest. "What about Buchi?"

"Yes. Yes yes." She nodded enthusiastically "He might be able to help you."

"Really?" Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that before now? I was too busy being depressed and worrying about losing my best friend.

"Yeah, I remember him telling me about some people that he's helped. I think they were posted to somewhere they didn't like and he changed it for them or something like that. But it has to do with NYSC sha."

"Oh wow," I said with relief. That would definitely be handy. If Buchi would help me fast-track the process, then he'll be putting me closer to achieving my goal.

"You know he knows lots of people that know lots of people," she chuckled. "That man and his connections all over the country."

"Thank you." I beamed. "Girl, in fact, you've made my entire week. I've been wondering how I was gonna have to do this on my own."

"Mimi, listen, you're not alone, okay? Remember that. And Stop trying to live life like you are. We're all here for you."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks girl."

"So would he be able to guarantee that I get posted here in Portharcourt. I can't be far away from my baby." 

"Don't worry. He'll be able to help with this, you know him na." It's true. I know Buchi. A jack of all trades and as Oma mentioned, he had connections all over the country, almost in every sector. I knew that if he could help, he would.

"You're right." I said to her. "Maybe I should even call him sef and tell him myself.

"You should."

"Is he still in Abuja?"

"No, he's in town."

"What? Here in PH? Not him too? So, he's in town and he hasn't even called or come to visit." I gave a loud and prolonged hiss and rolled my eyes."The two of you, na one rope tie una."

"No. No. Listen, he came in two days ago from Las gidi. There's a project he's working on in SHELL. He's had no time." She explained, in his defence.

"I hear you."

"Seriously," she reached out and tickled me. "He's been busy."

"I said I hear you, na. All of you busy people, abandoning all of us that are not busy. Just lemme catch him first. He will have to appease me too."

"Don't worry, goddess, abi should I call you native doctor, we will all appease you."

We both burst into a fit of laughter.

***

As I headed home, back from escorting Ijeoma, I couldn't help but give a smile of satisfaction. 

What a productive day. 

I trotted along the street like I had springs in my feet. I inhaled deeply, the cool evening air, welcoming the feeling of content and peace wash over me like a warm ocean wave. I'd not felt this way in months. It was as if my so-called depression had faded away and for good. 

My time with Oma had done me some good. It had boosted my confidence and given me hope which I didn't think existed within me anymore. 

That's why I don't joke with Oma. I don't know how she does it, but she just has a way of making me feel better. And today was yet another proof. She doesn't necessarily make the issue go away, but she just changes my outlook on the problem into a positive one. She offers a solution and makes a mountainous problem feel so small like I can just climb over it with ease.

I had a plan now. I'd speak to Buchi. I was certain that he'll sort out something for me. And then that would be one of my goals achieved. Which means that I'm a step further in achieving my main goal.

It would not be easy, but I'll get through it. Everything will turn out well,  I chanted to myself, smiling again. And this time I believed every word. 

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