Dream

15 - Crashing Down

MATTS P.O.V

I was in my room lying down at the ceiling thinking about everything that has happened in the past couple months. How I ruined my chance with the girl of my dreams, how my Mom had cancer for the longest time and my whole family knew, but they didnt want to tell me. Tears were streaming down my face as I was thinking how bad a person I was. I wish I could fix everything. Better yet I wish I could dissapear and be with my mom. Honestly, no one would care. Justine hates me, she probably would want me dead. I barely see my Dad anymore, hes working extra long hours to keep our lives going. I barely see my brothers because they cant handle being in the house where my Mom once was.

I walked in my brothers room. Walked in his bathroom to find the blade that he use to use when he was younger. I dont know why he was so sad but he was. I grabbed it, it was in my hand and I walked back in my room. I walked in my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldnt believe i was going to do this. Never in a million years i would think of hurting myself like this. But the pain was unbearable so i needed to let it out. 

I looked down at my wrist and made a small cut. I made another one right beside it but deeper. "Shit." I said as tears formed in my eyes. Good enough i thought. I wasnt trying to kill myself, I just needed to vent. I grabbed a towel and put pressure on the cut. The blood was still pouring out so I bandaged it up.

I needed to get out of the house so I got in my brothers car and drove off towards chipotle. Im hungry might as well get something to eat. My hand was starting to loose feeling and I was feeling dizzy. I slowed down my car just incase something was to happen. I lost feeling in my hand and I started to close my eyes; I fell asleep at the wheel.

All I heard were sirens. My head was pounding and I couldnt move my legs. I was stuck in the car. I tried to look around but everything was blurry. I tried to call for help. I screamed, I shouted. Nothing came out of my mouth, not even a whisper. I started to feel dizzy again. Everything went black.

JUSTINES P.O.V

I was sitting on my bed scrolling through twitter. I was trying to find my phone, but i realized I left it on the couch. What ever, no ones going to call me. I went on netflix and started to watch Tangled. This was one of my favourite movies. The way Flynn looks at Repunzal when they are on the boat is a moment ill always cherish in that movie. I was falling asleep and I closed my eyes.

"JUSTINE.. COME HERE NOW." Gisel screamed from downstairs. Why do they have to wake me up. I was sleeping peacefully. I ran down the stairs and turned towards the couch. Cameron was tearing up as Gisel was trying to comfort him. Same thing goes with Kenzi. She was rubbing Nash's back as he was lying down facing the couch. What the hell is wrong? "Here." Maya said handing me my phone. I put it towards my ear and started to listen. "Hello?" I asnwered. It was a nurse. She talked to me for five minutes. Tears falling down my cheeks and landing on the floor. They finished and I dropped my phone on the ground along with myself.  Matt was in the hospital. And i wasnt there with him. 

I ran up to my room and slammed the door locking it behind me. Why does life have to be so cruel. I grabbed my laptop and booked a flight. I was leaving to Virginia in 3 hours. I started to pack. I was still shaking after I heard what the nurse said about Matt being in a car crash. She said he was in critical condition and there was also somwthing that she couldnt tell me. One of his family members had too or Matt himself. I wonder why it was so personal, why couldnt she just tell me. 

I drove to the airport and passed the security checks and went to the terminal my flight was at. I got boarded in the plane and I took my seat. I ws sitting in the aisle. I put my headphones in my ears and fell asleep. 

I woke up to te flight attendant telling me I had to turn my phone off because we were landing. I walked out of the plane and got a cab. I told him to take me where I needed to go and he nodded his head stepping the gas pedal. He drove off to the hospital and I fell sleep again. "Miss we are here." The cab driver said and I paid him. I took a deep breath and walked in the hospital. I went to the front desk. "Espinosa." I asked and she told me what floor he was on. I got in the elevator and went up to his floor. When I walked out I had to walk through a hallway and I opened these doors and walked in. I was in the waiting room. I saw his Dad there. He looked up at me and smiled and stood up. Even though I dont know him well I hugged him tightly. "Im so sorry." I said and started to tear up. Matts dad started to cry as well. I stood back and hugged his brothers. 

"So what happened." I questioned.

"He cut himself. And drove off who kows where and crashed his car. Hes so stupid why wouldnt he of called me if he was feeling so down or atleast tell you." Matts brother said. I started to cry and I looked at my phone, I remembered all the voice mails Matt has sent me. He probably was trying to tell me how he was feeling. I felt guilty and I ran down the hall. I walked down a hallway. I was hitting my head. I was so stupid why did I have to ignore his calls. If i picked up he would be fine. I couldnt handle it and I slid my back against the wall, burying my head in my hands sobbing quietly. Its all my fault.

An hour later Matts dad came to talk to me. "They sid we cant go and see him now Justine. Go and see him." He said. I got up and thanked him and started to walk in Matts room. I glanced at him and I bit my lip. He looked horrible. His leg was in a cast his wrist was bandaged up. He had stiches on his temple and cuts everywhere on hi face and body. The heart monitor was beeping slowly. I was screed it was going to stop and I would loose my world. Tears came rushing down my face as I grabbed a seat and pulled it beside his bed so I could sit down right beside him. 

"Hey, Matt. I hope you can hear me. Well to start off, Im stupid. I should of answered your calls. I was just scared to get hurt again. I could of been there for you but I wasnt and...and.. i dont know what to do," I broke down and sobbed. I grabbed his hand and rested my head against it. "Wake up." I said to him. Of course he wasnt going too. He was in a coma and we dont know when hes going to wake up. "Matt, please. Open your eyes....babe please." I cried harder and squeezed his hand tighter. "Please wake up I love you." I said. I didnt move my head off his hand. I was still holding his hand. Im not going to let go of my sunshine.